Saturday, January 5, 2013

Solamente Nero

Goes without saying that Italian horror films love exploiting beautiful topless women. Nobody does it better and with more cinematic flair. People often criticize them for their focus on the violence exacted upon those same beautiful women, but there's something I find far more troubling and one-sided when it comes to their sexual politics...

There are NO beautiful topless men in these things! Smoldering hot genre regulars like Franco Nero, Jean Sorel or Urbano Barberini, constantly in the heat of solving or committing crimes, are left to sweat under seemingly insurmountable layers of clothing, while the ladies can't seem to progress beyond a sheer nightie, no matter their pursuits. Sexism, indeed.

But it was my own sexist sixth sense for finding gratuitous man flesh that led me to 1966's The Third Eye -- a semi-obscure film about a boy who's best friend is his mother and hence his hobbies include taxidermy and possible necrophilia. It's something akin to Psycho Italian-style. Stylish and sordid as it is, The Third Eye follows a familiar path, but it does do one rare, important thing unquestionably right...  It treats Franco Nero like the beautiful sex object that he is.

The image above isn't actually taken from The Third Eye, but taken instead from some kindred spirit through Google image search. But it does capture what I imagine it to look like if I were ever to direct a film starring Franco Nero... Because I'm all about gender equality, and moreso, vulgar exploitation.

I fully intend to exploit shirtless pics this rare gift to unsuspecting fans of Italian horror and Franco-philes. For the sake of Italian cinema sexual politics and the Google image search engine!

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