Monday, October 14, 2013

Profiles in Greatness: Dawn Wiener


Education:  7th grade, Benjamin Franklin Jr. High School
Nicknames:  Wienerdog, Lesbo, Dogface

Favorite Word:  Finger-fuck
Least Favorite Word:  Cunt  ("I didn't mean to be a cunt.")

On Politics:
  • "No, I just don't feel like it... but I think marijuana should be legalized."
  • "Just because he's a faggot doesn't mean he's an asshole."

  • Co-founder of "The Special People Club"
  • Drinks in the TV room over "Quiz Bowl"/Infomercials
  • Piano ("I could have kept going but I sprained my finger yesterday.")

First Crush:  Steve Rodgers ("Steve. Steve. Steve. Hear me. You will fall in love with me. You will make love to me. You will take me away from this place...")

Favorite Foods: Yodels, Ring Dings, Pop-Tarts, Hawaiian Punch, fish sticks...

"And I know how to make Jello!... 
Where are you going?! 
We still have some Yodels left!"

Best Quality:

"Dignity. Dignity is an important quality everyone should have. That way you will never grade grub. Grade grubbing is bad... cuz it mean's you're asking for a grade you shouldn't get. Cuz if you got it, it wouldn't be fair to everyone else in the class who didn't grade grub. It doesn't matter whether you're a girl or a boy, man or a child, rich or poor, fat or thin... You should never be a grade grubber. Therefore, dignity is a good quality everyone should have."

"I don't think I have time to give lessons to Barry... 
Wanna see my fingers?" 

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