JUNE 2
MISSY WIENER WENT MISSING!!!
But she's soon returned home... Missy's brother, Mark Wiener, fills us in on her current status.
"It turns out Mr. Kasdan kidnapped her... Yeah, Mrs. Kasdan's probably gonna file for divorce now. Turns out he built this little underground room beneath the shuffle board court and kept her there... I think he videotaped her doing some pirouettes, but that's it... No, she's here. She's the same. Y'know, actually I think she liked being there cuz she had her own TV and total control over the pusher. And she also got to have as much candy and McDonalds as she wanted."
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