Don't Be Afraid of the Retro Posters!

The Curse of the Living Corpse

"From out of the grave stalks
the creature that UNDRAPES
the passions of the living!"

I didn't lose my passion, it was simply undraped.

The Lure of the Triangle

"Loose lips sink ships...!"

Ahoy! We've spotted a landing strip!

The Legacy

"It's a birthright of living death..."

...The birthright of becoming

a crawling cat hand with emphysema.

I Like Bats

"Look into my eyes...
They're up here."

New Entries into the
TITLE HALL OF FAME:

Sex Wish

"Awaken your wildest fantasies-
All it takes is a cain, a briefacse and a..."

...Stranger who decides not to report you.

The Trouble with Young Stuff

"Tennessee Williams gone hard-core!"

Alternate Title: "The Ass Menagerie."

Who Did Cock Robin?

"Dripping with Freudian Reality"

Experience a Freudian slip...
And another. And another.

Funny Car Summer

From the makers of "Sad RV Winter."

-- Visit Wrong Side of the Art for more Retro Poster finds...

Invasion of the Retro Posters!

Jenny Gets on Top

"An expose of the record business!"

Her single --
and her short shorts
-- are about to drop!

Zapped

Charles (now literally) in Charge

Whirlpool

"She died with her boots on...
and not much else."

Deserved.
Who goes into a whirlpool with their boots on?

Teenage Mother

Starring:


Female Trouble's Dawn Davenport!

Love Airlines

"At last you can come aboard!"

The nuts and nuts are complimentary.

New entries into the
TITLE HALL OF FAME...



Come Ride the Wild Pink Horse

"Bored, thrill-hungry...
They shop for sin!"

They're a little old to be
riding the mechanical horse at the grocery store...

Diary of Knockers McCalla

"A book so hot its cover should be made of asbestos!"

Sample Diary Entry:

"If I get married, no one will ever take my name..."

Debbie Does Retro Posters!

What's in a name?

When Women Played Ding Dong

"A new name for an old game..."

Like Jenga with genitals!

A Smell of Honey, A Swallow of Brine!

"There is an expression for girls like her...
You see it scrawled on walls...!"

Although admittedly hard to read
under all that brine...

Thunderbuns

...Her parents also considered the name Beth.

Rollerbabies

"In the not too distant future sex will be illegal.
But there with be Rollerbabies."

Consolation for your space age celibacy?
Skates!

Feelin' Screwy

"Fun... Romance... Rap... Reality!"

Oh no he didn't...

Kung Fu Halloween

The Night HE Came Home...
to do an impressive roundhouse kick.

I Need a Man... Any Man!

"She created her own world of utter sensuous ecstasy,
and drew her friends in with her erotic cry...
'I need a man... Any man!'"

Whorish desperation at its most erotic!

Return of the Living Retro Posters!

ANGEL

"High School Honor Student by Day.
Hollywood Hooker by Night."

So many bumper sticker options:

Proud Parent of (Reasonably Priced) Honor Roll Student

or, Proud Parent of a Hooker with Straight A's

CARNIVAL ROCK

"NO! don't touch me."

Rock out with the freaks!
Like everyone's favorite: "Clingy Divorced Guy!"

YOUTH AFLAME

"See... what happens to 100,000 teen-agers yearly!
Shocking Drama of Flaming Youth"

Fact: 100,000 teen-agers suffer yearly
from spontaneous combustion
and/or overt homosexual tendencies.

WHAT THE PEEPER SAW

"What he saw is what he did."

Upon seeing a woman drowning in her kiddie pool,
The Peeper did likewise.

DEADLY SUNDAY /
THE NIGHT AFTER HALLOWEEN

Nobody respects a desktop calendar.

--For more ravishing retro posters, check out the always addictive Wrong Side of the Art!

The Town That Dreaded Retro Posters!

(Road Games)

"Animal... Vegetable... Or MURDER?"

Oh, it's just Jamie Lee Curtis fashionably impeding traffic.

(The Alternative)

"As sensitive as it is provocative..."

Let's hope there's an alternative for

these porcelain doll fetishists and

the world's last remaining collectible figurine.

(Maniac)

"Killing is his passion,

Money is his motive."

Exposing himself to sunsets is just his hobby.

(The Ladies Club)

"The rapists who attack these women are

about to have their lives permanently altered."

Official Ladies Club Meeting:

When: After midnight (vengeance permitting)

Where: A dark alley

BYO: Side dish and castration device (to share)

(The Jesus Trip)

"Waco's bunch rode hard and fast to meet their fate...

and Sister Anna rode with them!"

There's nothing easy about this easy rider!

She's headed for heaven like hell on wheels!

DON'T Browse Retro Posters!

Who knew artwork could be this controlling?

"Pass the warning."

DON'T Look Now

DON'T Look in the Basement

DON'T Open the Door

DON'T Open Till Christmas

DON'T Go In the House

DON'T Go In the Woods

Certainly DON'T Go In the Woods... Alone!

DON'T Go Near the Park

DON'T Be Afraid of the Dark

DON'T Ride on Late Night Trains

DON'T Mess with My Sister

DO call social services. If these movies were a relationship, we'd be telling people we accidentally fell down the stairs or ran into a doorknob. DON'T let artwork push you around!

Who Killed Retro Posters?

Who Killed Mary what's 'er name?

Mary what's 'er name:
a woman as oft-forgotten as her murder investigation.

Who Killed Baby Azaria?

"Who is the murderer? A wild dog or the baby's mother?"

Or TV's own Hank Azaria?

The Lift

"Take the stairs, take the stairs,
for god's sake, take the stairs!!"

An elevator so evil it forces you to be physically active.

Teen Lust

The woman with the triple-X ray eyes!

Sex Through a Window

Where restraints get as kinky as restraining orders.

Last Embrace

...But their first time embracing
on the edge of a hundred foot drop.

Thirst

Friends don't let friends drink their promotional artwork.

Screamers

"They're men turned inside out!
And worse... they're still alive!"

Worse yet... they still feel the societal pressure

to wear pants.