Best: Death by Dorm Art
Aenigma (1987)
Shot down by Top Gun in the prime of her life...
Oh the enigma that is Aenigma. Part Carrie, part Phenomena, part Jennifer, part method for Lucio Fulci to pay off his gambling debts. The classic story of an all girl boarding school overrun by the mystical and macabre gets a slight reinvention to the tune of utter nonsense. I consider Fulci a "Maverick" in his own right, consistently adding new and embarrassing nuances to each scene of schoolgirl bitchery. The accidental assault of an outcast at the hands of her freewheeling nemeses has our telekinetic and comatose teen seeking all-out revenge. Don't ask questions. Aenigma is like a riddle wrapped in a bad screenplay, wrapped in barely-there lingerie.
Best: Death by Disinterest
Expendable indeed... One would think that death by snails is a rarity, and deserved if anyone's too lackadaisical to just put their top on and leave the room. Given their glacial pace, their complete lack of menace and general threat, a slow death seems appropriate to anyone willing to stay immobile for that long. The only thing slower than these snails is the naked girl they're trying to consume.
Best: Clothing Fight Climax
For every bit of mundane that exists in a murder by snails, there's a strange intensity to roommates throwing clothes at one another. Possession overtakes our prized pupil, causing her to unleash a wraith of soft cotton and denim at her soft-spoken cellmate. A flurry of outdated fashion builds to a literal climax, as our girl writhes and thrashes into demonic orgasm.
Time to switch rooms. Such is the confounding reality of boarding school life and Lucio Fulci's later career.
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