Obscure Beauty: 3 Women (1977)

Obscure Beauty: Images (1972)

"In Search of Unicorns"

Storytelling with Ronee Blakely

"Y'know, I wanna tell you all a little secret which you might not know, and that is that last night I thanked my lucky stars that I could be here at all today to sing for you. And I heard on the radio the cutest little boy, he was nine years old -- and y'know how sometimes the DJ will play a tune and ask everybody to phone in and say how they like it, y'know... And, uh, I was listening to it, and they asked for callers to call in -- and this little nine-year-old boy called in -- and the song had voices in the background, like the way they use these backup voices these days sometimes, y'know, soundin' like little munchkins. He called up and the DJ said, "And how old are you son?" And the little boy said, "I'm nine and I think it's gonna be a hit." And the DJ said, "Why?" And he says, "Oh because it had those little Chipmunks in it." And I thought that was so cute because, well, I can sing like a munchkin myself, I don't know about you. And I'm real fond of The Wizard of Oz. And plus I live out, y'know, just a ways out here off of Highway Interstate 24 on the road to Chattanooga, so you can see why I kinda related to that... I don't know... I think me and the boys are gonna strike up another tune for you, um... Let's go boys!"

Digital Lust

I'm a simple man. All I want for Christmas are a few DVD's. There's just one catch...

They don't exist.

Where are my "ultimate, unrated, too shocking, too sacrilegious" special editions of these hard-to-find classics? Santa's got his work cut out this year after securing rights, conducting rare cast interviews, and scouring the earth for restored prints and never-before-seen footage...

Come Back to the Five and Dime, Jimmy Dean, Jimmy Dean

And then come to DVD... Jimmy Dean, Jimmy Dean...

It's a stage play as much as it is one of Robert Altman's fluid cinematic dreams, centralized in a dusty town that has long seen its Last Picture Show. An aging club of James Dean devotees, still swooning over their legendary encounters with the star, reconvene years later to reveal the secrets and lies of their shared past.

It's a showcase for performances both theatrical and understated by an A-list cast the likes of Cher, Kathy Bates and Sandy Dennis. Special mention goes to Karen Black as a transsexual transformed (via a surgeon with a sense of humor) from "don't call me queer" Jesse (Mark Patton) of A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 2. And he's just as gay this time around, maybe a bit less.


It's not known as one of Altman's greats if only because of some flaws within the source material, but his translation to screen is masterful, as is his clever play with time and space. Confined to a singular sleepy locale, Altman brings about the ache of his characters and their crumbling facades on par with that of their dying town.

Ideal Extras: How great would an actress commentary be? Cher and Sandy Dennis give especially memorable turns here and it would be nice to hear their experiences with the late, great Robert Altman. They could even reunite the cast at a five and dime somewhere to talk about their glory days on set together. We can always hope for some trash talk and a few life-altering tragedies along the way.

The Devils

Not on DVD? Sacrilege! Let's burn Warner Brothers!

Director Ken Russell trips out on blasphemy, orgies and eye popping art design, plus Vanessa Redgrave as a horny hunchback in a habit. Unfortunately these things don't come along everyday, and as an added bonus, this movie apparently offends Catholics.

Urbain Grandier (Oliver Reed), a corrupt 17th Century priest, is swept up in the hysteria of witchcraft after a repressive nun (Redgrave) lusts and then lies about the father's seductive powers. The far greater corruption within the church spins the web of lies into a grand panic filled with sex, sacrifice and holy sacrament. The darkly funny and fact-based film offers grand production design by Derek Jarman and a rare take on religious frenzy.


Scheduled for release last year, the disc was pulled by Warner Brothers almost immediately after being announced. No reasons were given, but either the Pope caught wind of the nun gangbang or there was a property rights issue. We'll hope for the former.

Ideal Extras: The most important being the fully restored print of the film -- a difficult enough feat considering the many versions in circulation and cuts made around the world. The infamous (and irreverently titled) "Rape of Christ" sequence should be fully restored, or in lieu of that, humorously recreated by a modern day Vanessa Redgrave.

Love Streams

Someone buy the studio execs a farm to show them our love and devotion. That should do it.

The masterful humanism of John Cassavetes bleeds through this painful, honest and heartfelt story of a brother and sister trying to find love and express it to others by any means necessary. Robert Harmon (Cassavetes), an author and alcoholic by equal esteem, spends his days keeping his many lovers and recently reunited son at bay. Sarah Lawson (Gena Rowlands) tries to adapt to her dissolving marriage and stilted relationship with her daughter through elaborate expressions of her affection, no matter the greater distance they cause.

Stunning performances and Cassavetes' signature nuance and naturalism capture immense truth and tragedy, not to mention some hilarious comic moments as Sarah's character moves further off the deep end. Based on a play by Ted Allen, the film never feels out of step with Cassavetes' invasive realism, and it's yet another career peak for Gena Rowlands. I'd express my love for her in the most awkward and exaggerated way possible if I only knew how...


Ideal Extras: Perhaps a second Cassavetes box set from Criterion? We do still need Minnie and Moskowitz and Husbands on disc as well. Imagine rare interviews, extended footage, lost scenes and essays by Gena Rowlands. And scene selections, probably.

Looking for Mr. Goodbar

And we're still looking...

Such a vicious and tragic tale, tied to its era and told with a harrowing edge that still has bite. Diane Keaton, in one of her finest and most daring performances, plays Theresa Dunn, a teacher of deaf children by day who's seeking out illicit sex and drugs after sundown. Her encounters with strange men become an escape from the past that had kept her so contained, but ultimately lead her to a terrifying fate.

The story and novel by Judith Rossner was based on the murder of schoolteacher Roseann Quinn in 1973, which certainly adds to the film's bleakness. The psychology and themes inside are about as conflicted and distraught as the central character, but so often the film achieves a chilling and uniquely fascinating quality. Much of that is due in part to Keaton's strength and savvy onscreen, as well as the inevitable horror awaiting us as the viewer.


Ideal extras: Director Richard Brooks must have a lot to say considering the content, and every fan should be intrigued to hear the story of its inspiration. Plus, interviews with Diane Keaton in which she talks about her golden era of edgy roles and then apologizes for Because I Said So. Why? Because I said so. The cherry on top is rare extended footage of Richard Gere and Tom Berenger in their debut, looking cute and coked out in jockstraps.

"How To Be Thoroughly Modern" with Millie Lammoreaux

Set goals in life and in love...

"I plan everything I do. I figure out what it is I want and then I set out to do it. Like this apartment -- I've been decoratin' it ever since I moved in. And even if I fell in love with a guy and wanted to get married, I wouldn't move into his place. He'd have to move in with me. And even then I'd want to know everything there is to know about him. Includin' money and health."


Take pleasure in preparation...

"You can start by taking some of that cheese spread and squirtin' it in a circle on those Sociables. And then put an olive on top of each one. I made these once before and they were a real big hit."

"I'm famous for my dinner parties... We're havin' pigs in a blanket and chocolate puddin' tarts!"

Be the life of your own party...

"Do you guys know how to play Scrabble? It's a real good game - you can learn a lot of new words. My roommate's got this boyfriend who's really good at it. He knows some words I've never even heard of before. "Orator." It's in the dictionary alright. I think it's some kind of, oh, professional talker or somethin'. But the most unusual one was "zebus." You know what zebus are? The humps on a camel's back. I didn't like the guy I was with too much, though. All he wanted to do was make up dirty words. We weren't gonna play that way."

I couldn't help but wonder... are women just better at losing their minds?

(Did Carrie Bradshaw just write that headline?)

What's with films about insanity and identity dissolution being almost entirely female-centric? I'm talking about those classic, mind-melding films where we see people (usually women) start to break from reality or lose their grip entirely. What's with female madness funneled through male directors funneled through male bloggers?


These wonderfully warped women are nothing if not complex. They're layered women's roles, as in you can't distinguish where one half of their personality begins or ends, or if they might have doppelgangers. They are innocence corrupted. They're also sexpots with one hell of a dark side!

Yet have no fear ladies. Even though all of these films are directed by men, all the male characters are surprisingly unfulfilled, manipulative sex-fiends, or potential rapist/murderers. It's pretty consistent. That and they're at least partially responsible for the female madness. While the women progress from happy to crazy to scary, the men progress from sweet to horny to evil. So maybe it's an even gender keel after all. Maybe it's even a progressive perspective for a male filmmaker; that even when questionably painting women as victims, one also paint the male as culpable? Who really knows, and all we have to rely on to answer that are the wayward perspectives of the lost or utterly insane...

It's probably my favorite genre. Just remember this simple formula: Happy. Crazy. Scary.

Warning: SPOILERS!!

Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me
Directed by David Lynch

The woman: Laura

Traits: Innocent schoolgirl turned incest non-survivor turned coked-out Canadian prostitute.

The men: Leland Palmer, Various Townsfolk

Traits: Some fathers rape and murder their own daughters. (Visit Austria.) Men without daughters simply buy sex with high school girls and tie them up in their remote woodland cabins.

Inland Empire
Directed by David Lynch

The woman: Nikki/Susan

Traits: Starry-eyed actress turned scorned lover turned finger-snapping, white-trash prostitute.

The men: Devon/Billy, Piotrek

Traits: Suave, flirtatious co-stars turn into sadistic liars in front of their wives. Concerned husbands turn into abusive, jealous carnies.

Repulsion
Directed by Roman Polanski

The woman: Carole

Traits: Soft-spoken manicurist turned chaste recluse turned razor-toting rape victim.

The men: Michael, Landlord

Traits: Charming date prospects turn into pushy, unavoidable stalkers, or worse yet, walls that won't stop groping. Reasonable businessmen turn into rapists over late rent.

Images

Directed by Robert Altman

The woman: Cathryn

Traits: Children's author turned triple sexual assault victim turned murderous wife with road rage.

The men: Hugh, Rene, Marcel

Traits: Dull, hobbyist husbands and persistent exes (even the dead ones) turn into philandering louts and walking libidos who force simultaneous shape-shifting sex on their lovers.

Now, in honor of these fascinating women on the edge, an excerpt of Wilson Phillips' "Hold On":

I know that there is pain
But you hold on for one more day and
Break free from the chains
Yeah I know that there is pain
But you hold on for one more day and you
Break free, break from the chains

Some day somebody's gonna make you want to
Turn around and say goodbye
Until then baby are you going to let them
Hold you down and make you cry
Don't you know?
Don't you know things can change
Things'll go your way
If you hold on for one more day yeah
If you hold on