Don't Tempt Me

The 20 Most Tempting Titles of 2009

(#16-20)

(And for others 2009 temptations check out the countdown happening at Film Experience. Not because I'm participating in it, but because it's probably a lot more informative than anything you'll find here.)

(16) Margaret

Director: Kenneth Lonergan

Starring: Matt Damon, Anna Paquin, Matthew Broderick, Mark Ruffalo, Kieran Culkin

You can't really rely on You Can Count On Me director Kenneth Lonergan. That indie masterpiece debut came all the way back in 2000 and the man hasn't given us a film since. Those are some big shoes to fill a big decade later, but thankfully they're his own shoes so the possibilities are endless.

Lonergan's got Broderick and Ruffalo along for the ride once again. They're joined by Anna Paquin for this tale of a girl's unlucky rendezvous with fate after witnessing a car accident brings her life to a screeching halt. I'm hoping Lonergan's script feels as lived in as it should after all those years in preparation, and if that first film's success is any indication, we'll be getting some really resonant and affecting human drama.

Is everyone on set fucking Matt Damon?

(Top: Bourne Ultimatum, Bottom: Margaret)

Fun (related) Fact: Apparently you can hire any Culkin kid for any event. This time Lonergan's hired Kieran Culkin, instead of lil' Rory Culkin. But that does mean Rory's free for your kid's Bris. Macaulay's probably just at home alone.

(17) Drag Me to Hell

Director: Sam Raimi

Starring: Alison Lohman, Justin Long

Sam Raimi may have done fanboys well with his Spiderman films, but what about the horror buffs of his gory glory days? Well...(holding back tears) maybe he hasn't forgotten about us...

His latest sounds like a senseless, slapstick slaughterhouse to bring back all the fondest memories of the Evil Dead series. If this one's a success we'll probably see a lot more progress on Evil Dead 4, but it sounds like a great genre entry even without that humble attachment. For one thing it's not a remake and it's not playing on the level of "torture porn" (that phrase is so gratuitously overexposed it's painful). Besides, horror as a whole really needs to find the fun again. Fun like tree rape and corpses filled with milk and creamed corn.

The story is that Ali Lohman has to break a psychic's evil curse after she gives her a bad deal on a bank loan. People react differently in this economy...

(18) Inglourious Basterds

Director: Quentin Tarantino

Starring: Brad Pitt (mmm), Eli Roth (...), Maggie Cheung (!), Mike Myers (?)

Given the recent overflow of war movies, Tarantino's might seem less relevant than some, but it will definitely have more explicit violence, camera tricks and Maggie Cheung! This also cements the fact that Brad Pitt has to be the closest thing to a celebrity Jesus. Everyone loves him, including the continent of Africa. Everyone's attracted to him no matter how much they deny it, and he still backs up that whole delicious package with some well-chosen roles and performances. That and he's all over US Weekly.


The synopsis:

"In Nazi-occupied France during World War II, a group of Jewish-American soldiers known as "The Basterds" are chosen specifically to spread fear throughout the Third Reich by scalping and brutally killing Nazis. The Basterds soon cross paths with a French-Jewish teenage girl who runs a movie theater in Paris which is targeted by the soldiers."

A movie theater in Paris? Naturally Tarantino found some way to make self-aware cinema references throughout his war epic, and that's why we love him. He consistently makes memorable cinema that loves memorable cinema. The long gestation on this project speaks of maybe some more personal Tarantino touches and probably some stunning spectacle. How will he top Kill Bill's House of Blue Leaves or Death Proof's rip-roaring car crash? The man's work is impeccable, and until he casts himself in the lead, we'll be just about square.



(19) Brothers
Director: Jim Sheridan

Starring: Jake Gyllenhaal, Tobey Maguire, Natalie Portman

Brothers feud when one goes missing in Afghanistan and the other takes up with his wife. A purple heart won't heal that wound! Sounds a little Legends of the Fall but with, most importantly, Jake Gyllenhaal having sex with things. That's more than enough to merit a spot on this list, and it's far more enticing than his whole excursion to Persia -- not that I won't be along for that trip and every available photo op.


War movies can be a snore, but with Jake and Tobey, I'll be awake for every open-shirt musket wound. They still use muskets, right?

(20) Lovely, Still

Director: Nik Fackler

Starring: Ellen Burstyn, Martin Landau, Elizabeth Banks, Adam Scott

If I'm just being honest... I was on set for this one during filming, and most importantly had Ellen Burstyn take my hand and acknowledge my actual being! I also got to watch her dazzle and dig into character right before my very eyes, and I can tell you first hand that this nuanced performance should be one to watch for and give a second viewing. And you know me, I'm not one to put actors on a pedestal... other than when I do it daily as a blog.

"I have something I've wanted to ask you since the moment we met... Do you prefer paper or plastic?"

This small scale fable follows an elderly grocery sacker (Landau) and his first brush with romance just in time for the holidays. How about a collective "aww..." On any level it should be nice having any new Christmas film not involve dueling neighbors or Tim Allen. It's guaranteed sweetness with a few surprises along the way -- and has Ellen Burstyn ever shaken your hand and called you "Adam?" Didn't think so.


Fun (bitter) fact: Originally the supporting cast was said to be comprised of Paul Rudd and Winona Ryder! I would have orgasmically imploded on that set and thus they were replaced with Adam Scott and Elizabeth Banks. They're lovely too... but still.

Cult Oddities: Thriller: A Cruel Picture (1973)

I don't know what I was expecting from that title. Thriller: A Cruel Picture certainly wasn't going to be about kittens and inspirational triumphs over disability -- even if our heroine, Madeleine, is a partially blind mute. Nevertheless, given the immediately vicious subject matter, I couldn't help but admire the restraint of director Bo Arn Vibenius.

Until THAT happened... And that... And let us never forget about THAT... Or those...


Mere moments later I was admiring the director's complete lack of restraint. Instead of having us feel a more simplistic pity at witnessing such disgusting acts befall an innocent girl, Vibenius places the viewer directly into Madeleine's one-eyed perspective. Her turn from idealistic child to doped-up prostitute to bad ass action star is about as cold and calculating as her sadistic clientele. Subjecting us to the graphic displays of penetrative rape and ocular savagery exacted on Madeleine makes us feel more than a little dirty, and just a little bit violated. Like a prison movie, we're watching her cleverly bide her time. Like one hell of a revenge movie, we're anticipating that big, bloody payoff.


Once Madeleine finally does master her revenge training, we get many of those now cliched slow-mo gunshots that are used to lesser, nauseating effect in shameful action flicks everywhere (aka John Woo's career). You know, the sort where people fly into cardboard boxes with muffled, trailing cries of "BWAAAHHHH..." Here these scenes are stylistically significant and remarkably innovative, if eventually a bit tedious. It's glorified violence filmed gloriously, and it fully satiates the carnal bloodlust the viewer's been building. It also manages to fill in a third of the film's runtime, but who needs story developments when you have this much pent up rage to unleash?


Thriller: A Cruel Picture is skillful, high-caliber exploitation. Quentin Tarantino most famously translated his love for the film into Kill Bill. Just like that film, Thriller goes far into extremes of violence, and in this case sex as well, but similarly pulls back in its final moments for a more thoughtful characteristic tweak. Madeleine's a bad ass to be sure, but she's above the ugliness exacted upon her, or at least her enjoyment of it. For Madeleine it's all about the statement.

Hence she has an appropriately quirky and self-aware fashion sense. Madeleine transitions from bright and bewildered in golden yellow, to her "rage period" of blood-red crimson and matching eye patch. Then onto your standard hipster black -- best for mourning and mass annihilation.

Best of 2007: The Top 10

The Esteemed Top 5

Already two months into 2008, and it's still a challenging task. Here are the five films that really left an indelible impression on me. Note: I still haven't seen The Hottie and the Nottie, so things could change...

1) There Will Be Blood

I feel the same way about church, and mine served donuts!

The first shot of the film- a harsh landscape accompanied by eerie orchestral strings- could just as easily be the surface of the moon, mimicking the ominous discovery of the Monolith in 2001: A Space Odyssey. To Daniel Plainview it might as well be the moon; he'd be just as willing to pillage and plunder, if it meant his own well-being of course. In those first glimmers of this monumental character study, blood is coursing through Daniel's veins like the oil beneath his feet, and there's no clue as to if or when he'll ever find solace in his success. Then again, that title certainly doesn't bode well.

Daniel Day Lewis provides Plainview, and the whole of the film, with a furious lifeforce; an energy and pull to a sinister and greedy soul. There's an extreme sense of exhilaration in watching a consummate actor dig into the recesses of such a truly dark being and have so much fun with it. Paul Thomas Anderson's work carries the vision, scope and personal signature that has already made him a reputable auteur. Anderson's fifth film is of a remarkably different breed for the young master, whose Boogie Nights, Magnolia and Punch-Drunk Love are already audacious modern classics with his singular voice at their center. With There Will Be Blood, the clashing of oil, greed, religion and human misery are startlingly relevant and serve to further Anderson's playing field. If he continues on his delirious hot streak, he'll be just as infamous as Stanley Kubrick, or his mentor Robert Altman.

2) Once

What's Czech for "withholding"?

It's a musical drama so light on its feet and so effortlessly touching that it picks you up and leaves you feeling inspired, even if you're still in tears. Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova make a startling romantic pair, especially given that they're first time performers and their on-screen romance is relegated primarily to the beautiful music they create together. It's a rare treat in musicals when the songs actually linger past the runtime, and part of that comes from the incalculable chemistry within these sequences; as if the songs really are being stripped from these character's insides before our very eyes.

Credit should go to John Carney, whose subtle control and economy of scenes can so easily go unnoticed. Given it's pared down nature, it's uncompromising, heartbreaking ending, and its invigorating low-budget aesthetic, there's truly something to be said for the strengths of this offbeat musical. Unlike studio venture Hairspray, or Dreamgirls the year before, the magic comes not in the precise choreography, stunt casting or A-to-Z plotting, but in the simple, transcendent power of song.

3) Eastern Promises

And Tweety Bird's on the left cheek...

Who knew the Russian sex trade and bathhouse knife fights were too mainstream? That's a claim many have leveled against David Cronenberg's latest thriller, which fails to acknowledge the closeness to his fascinations and barely scratches the surface of a film built upon layers. Eastern Promises constructs another small-scale thriller with unexpected emotional heft, not unlike A History of Violence, wherein characters' motivations mutate and identities dissolve. The plot itself is relatively simple, but the implications and undercurrents are anything but.

Viggo Mortensen once again carries the weight of the film, transforming this time into a Russian mobster with a secret; using each sigh and inflection as sharp detail and signifier of his experiences, much like the tell-all tattoos adorning his body. The intrigue of this character, alongside the melancholy narration of a deceased 14-year-old Russian mother, makes for a dark and essential entry in Cronenberg's filmography. The ending leaves many threads open, but it's not to the fault of its otherwise tightly-wound script. Instead it allows the characters a promise of a new life, once again without any guarantees.

4) Lust, Caution

She did it all for the jewelry.

One of Ang Lee's most detailed and dazzling juggling acts masquerades as a simple espionage tale, but quickly weaves into a stirring collage of identity, performance, and tragic romance. Like Lee's earlier films, these characters are all carrying the burden of repressed longing, wanton lust, and the desire to transcend their beginnings, but there's a strangely unique flavor this time around. Tang Wei gives a stunning, undervalued debut that takes into accounts all aspects of "performance" as Wong Chia Chi, a burgeoning actress who finds herself part of the resistance in a spy game to seduce and destroy the corrupt Mr. Yee, played by the always captivating Tony Leung.

The complexity of the relationships, the scope of its revolutionary story, and the combined sensuality and danger make for an extravagant think piece. It haunted me long after seeing it, not unlike Lee's Brokeback Mountain, largely because it leaves so much undefined and yet oddly finite. This is as unlikely a romance as I've ever seen and I almost hesitate to call it one, with the "controversial" sex scenes serving as surprising development of character and narrative intrigue. It all leads to that crucial scene where each deception and heartfelt emotion collide with a single line of dialogue, leaving everything forever changed.

5) Grindhouse

Shake it while you got it!

Easily one of the most fun times at the movies this year, with Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez throwing us back to the days of drive-in, bad ass bombshells and all. With the missing reels, uproarious faux trailers, editing flubs and scratched reels, it's easy enough to understand why some audience members weren't in on the joke. Thus it died an unfortunate death at the box office, but I say it's all the more appropriate. This is cult cinema, meant to kiss the celluloid ghosts of underground gods like Russ Meyer and Roger Corman. Granted it's all made flashy and well cast for these director's devoted fans, but the inspiration and fanboy love positively bleeds off the screen.

Rodriguez's Planet Terror is the more slapdash, excessive of the two, and probably the less authentic in terms of the grindhouse vibe. Cherry Darling, a go-go girl with a machine gun leg, is already iconic, and this is brainless fun from start to finish. It's George Romero meets John Carpenter meets Rodriguez's own sensibilities, and it doesn't take itself seriously for a second. Tarantino's viciously enjoyable Death Proof uses it's extensive dialogue and character build to play on conventions and invoke the aura of both the slasher and chase film, all the while forming its own unique blend. It pulls a great feminist reversal and some smart modern tricks so as to not to make it merely an homage picture, and Tarantino films scenes with such unforgettable flourish and intensity. If only more filmmakers credited their inspirations with as much love and go-for-the-gut affection.

The Remaining Top 10:

(6) Margot at the Wedding

Don't even bother complimenting her hat.

A bruising study of treacherous characters and fractured families, with a uniquely sour streak from Noah Baumbach. Nicole Kidman scalds as an emotional vampire, and Jennifer Jason Leigh makes a refreshingly lived-in return.

(7) I'm Not There

Musical chameleon or shape shifter?

A mutating, ambiguous, and bold biopic that discards convention for the absolute essence of an unknowable icon. It's free flowing, inventive work from the always intelligent Todd Haynes.

(8) 2 Days in Paris

Woody Allen finds Adam Goldberg a tad neurotic.

A funny farce in which neuroses give way to a couple's true nature. Julie Delpy shines again, furthering her immense range of talents with a sharp naturalism and cross-culture perceptiveness.

(9) Away from Her

Uh-oh, someone forgot to make reservations for the ski lodge...

A poetic, elegant and unexpected story of life beyond memories. Sarah Polley's assured debut tinges with heartbreak, renewal, love and loss, and Julie Christie is a fragile wonder.

(10) (tie) Knocked Up / 4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days

Seth Rogen's baby or Mr. Bebe? Abstinence, kids.

2007 was certainly the year of the pregnancy (Juno and Inside included), each with a uniquely different approach. One is light Hollywood fare that refuses to confront real issues, but makes up for that with a sharp ensemble, big laughs and plenty of heart. The other is harsh Romanian arthouse fare that pushes buttons and cleverly holds its focus to the point of sheer discomfort.