A Signature Distraction

Anyone still reading Club Silencio knows that I (in)frequently contribute to Film Experience a series called "Signatures:" my most beloved actresses momentarily captured in awkward still photos and overindulgent praise. If I were to write a "Signatures" on myself, it would be that I laugh in the face of being prolific, and that my readers are lovely, patient and/or bored.

Here's my latest output/distraction, and look forward to more Defensive Cinema and Cult Oddities in the coming week!

• Patricia Clarkson is one of the finest supporting actresses alive, so why is she never supportive?

• Catherine Keener says "fuck off" in the most charming way imaginable.

• Uma Thurman is out for blood in the most charming way imaginable.

• (Literally) brace yourselves for the bitter comedy stylings of Lisa Kudrow!

• Laura Dern is our guiding light through the darkness of monogamy, prostitution and Nicolas Cage.

Don't Tempt Me... This is Getting Ridiculous

The 20 Most Tempting Titles of 2009

(#6-10)

#11-15 here / #16-20 here

(6) Whatever Works
Director: Woody Allen
Starring: Larry David, Evan Rachel Wood, Patricia Clarkson, Henry Cavill

Woody Allen's return year after year is a bit like Christmas for me -- a funny, philosophical, adulterous Christmas. Last year's Vicky Cristina Barcelona was a stupendously light and lustful surprise, and my favorite film of the year. With Woody's latest we'll be again seeing Patricia Clarkson turn her two minutes of screen time into another resonant stunner, and she's joined by Woody's neurotic match point, Larry David. The plot's Mighty Aphrodite-vibe links Larry to Evan Rachel Wood for a romantic and comic tryst once he decides to abandon his upper-echelon existence for something more bohemian... and blond. Whatever works, Larry.

And permit me to begin my "Don't Tempt Me 2010" list because Woody's already lined up an awe-inspiring cast for his next (untitled) feature that's definitely what's working for me: Nicole Kidman, Naomi Watts, Antonio Banderas and Josh Brolin! Swoon.

Evan Rachel wants nothing to do with Larry's banana. If she's anything like me she's holding out for Henry Cavill's.

(7) This Side of the Truth

Director: Ricky Gervais /Matthew Robinson

Starring: Ricky Gervais, Tina Fey, Christopher Guest, Jason Bateman, Jeffrey Tambor

Ricky Gervais is the rare television/film/podcast/standup mastermind whose talents and empire are actually deserving. As a comic genius he's also wise to surround himself with rival comic genius. Christopher Guest! Jason Bateman! Jeffrey Tambor! Tina Fey! No lie, this sounds like comedy heaven. It also acts as a potentially amazing placeholder for the Arrested Development Movie while it's still in development shackles.

In a world where no one ever tells lies, Gervais stars as the first man to exploit dishonesty for financial gain. A boldfaced move on his part that sets off a catastrophic tidal wave of deception and farcical falsehoods. The plot's promising enough on its own, and we already know how Gervais handles playing a socially inept cad. Maybe it's having re-watched The Office and Extras back-to-back, but if God were to come back as a British comic he'd look exactly like this:


Another "Don't Tempt Me 2010" addition: It's actually possible Gervais is working on something even more tempting with The Men at the Pru -- his first feature film collaboration with co-mastermind Stephen Merchant, the man at the side of Ricky's greatest successes. Even our British Comedy Savior needs his man behind the curtain.

(8) Please Give
Director: Nicole Holofcener
Starring: Catherine Keener, Rebecca Hall, Amanda Peet, Kevin Corrigan

Of the female directors working in America, Nicole Holofcener seems one of the most notable and still too unnoticed. Please, someone, give her consistent indie funding, and preferably her own HBO series starring Catherine Keener. If we're ever to believe IMDb, this is the appropriately simple summary to her latest project: In New York City, a husband and wife butt heads with the granddaughters of the elderly woman who lives in apartment the couple owns.

Not so tempting in theory, but with Holofcener's films it's all about those ringing truths and small characteristic tweaks. I should never undersell her either: Friends with Money had Jennifer Aniston smoking weed and stealing vibrators and face cream, plus Frances McDormand refusing to wash her hair. In Holofcener's hands Catherine Keener's also been busted for underage sex with a minor, but as in her tradition of creating relatable scenarios, it was with Jake Gyllenhaal.

Friends with Munchies

Her work on cult faves like Walking and Talking, even episodes for TV classics Six Feet Under and Sex and the City, mark some of the more fully realized female arcs available in modern comedy, and some genuinely whip-smart and funny character pieces in general. Keener continues her collaboration, assuredly sharp as ever. She's joined by Rebecca Hall, who worked some sour/supple magic in Vicky Cristina Barcelona that actually seems in perfect fusion with Holofcener's films.

SO relatable.

(9) Nine
Director: Rob Marshall
Starring: Nicole Kidman, Penélope Cruz, Daniel Day-Lewis, Sophia Loren, Judi Dench

A stunning cast is setting the stage for Rob Marshall's return to the movie musical post-Chicago. One of the best things about that film was Marshall's successfully cinematic showstoppers, which is perfect considering this film revolves around a filmmaker and the many women revolving through his life. So many promising setups and period style, and the perfection that is this cast. Nicole Kidman's returning to movie musical that treated her so well, alongside Oscar-winning follow-up performances by the mesmerizing Daniel Day-Lewis and Penélope Cruz. Some real razzle dazzle!

Somebody's been good to Mama, because Mama's been good to us!

(10) Nailed
Director: David O. Russell
Starring: Jake Gyllenhaal, Catherine Keener, Jessica Biel, Paul Reubens, Jon Stewart, Kirstie Alley

I don't know if it's due to the abuses inflicted on his cast and crew, but David O. Russell knows great comedy. And since misery loves company, he also knows how to assemble an awesome ensemble. This time his oddball choice of casting Jessica Biel is softened by the blow of a nail to her character's head -- and it's actually a central plot device that sends her character to Washington D.C., dizzy with a cause and into the arms of a willing senator, played by the ever-nailable Jake Gyllenhaal. As Russell's done with I Heart Huckabees and Flirting with Disaster, there's a troupe of underused comic supporters. Among them there's the pleasant coincidence of Jake actually being reunited with his still Lovely & Amazing co-star Catherine Keener after all that nasty police business and him having hit legal age.

SO, SO relatable.

COMING SOON: The 5 Most Tempting Titles of 2009!

2009 and Beyond the Infinite: Part 1

These are features to look forward to in 2009 and beyond; a few that could very well never see the light of day, but the filmmakers persist to taunt us anyhow. In no particular order, I give you a look into the future...

The Countess
Release: 2009
Director: Julie Delpy

She's given up on walking around foreign cities talking about love and taken up bathing in the blood of virgins. After last year's underrated 2 Days in Paris, Julie Delpy, the truly stunning actress, director and musician, is taking the reins on the historical horror feature The Countess. The film details the true story of Countess Elizabeth Bathory in 16th century Hungary, whose beauty regimen was... shall we say... strict? Use it or lose it, ladies! The (suspiciously) beautiful Delpy will we playing the sinister Countess alongside co-stars William Hurt and Anamaria Marinca, who gave us a stirring turn in last years 4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days. A very vague teaser trailer here.

"It's the Countess! Quick, pretend you're a slut!"

Broken Embraces
Release: 2009
Director: Pedro Almodóvar

Penelopé Cruz is on a hot streak that looks to continue in her fourth collaboration with the ever-brilliant Pedro Almodóvar. The story concerns an accident on the island of Lanzarote, the filming of a comedy in the vein of Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown, and presumably some broken embraces. Any more details would ruin the film's guaranteed pleasures. Rossy de Palma, Blanco Portillo and Chus Lampreave also continue their partnerships in what Almodóvar promises to be his most "novel-like" film to date, and one a bit darker in tone than the previous Volver. Is there any way this one could fail? I'll answer for you. No.

Hugging time is over!

Fruitcake
Release: 2009 (?)
Director: John Waters

Not since Dawn Davenport got cheated of her cha-cha heels has Christmas sounded this deliciously warped. John Waters directs his first "children's film," as if that's not enough to make parents already mortified. It's the tale of Fruitcake, a boy who runs away from home during the holidays when his family is caught shoplifting meat in that true Baltimore style. Divine would be so proud... Fruitcake teams up with another young girl, raised by her two gay fathers, who's gone in search of her birth mother. It sounds subversive, potentially scandalous, and with just a dose of Hairspray-like sweetness. Waters last few films have been arguably mixed efforts, but his pairing with the great comedic talents of Parker Posey should prove, umm... fruitful? Oh how I missed you John Waters. Where else can I expect to see a parent call their child an asshole for my amusement?

"I hate you, I hate this house, and I hate Christmas!"

Giallo
Release: 2009
Director: Dario Argento

So while the slightly camp charm of his seventies classics has morphed into camp excess, a new Dario Argento film's always worth a look. For his follow-up to the divisive The Third Mother, he's going back to the basics and referencing the very genre he helped to define in his debut The Bird with the Crystal Plumage. The film's title Giallo comes from the Italian murder-mystery genre and, well, the Italian word for "yellow." It's also the nickname of a murderer with yellowed skin who's knocking off Milan's most beautiful models. As you can probably guess, the police inspector is missing that one crucial clue that could lead him to the killer. Well that yellow-skinned killer has some unnerving cheese potential (that draws upon my painful memories of the dreadful Black Xmas), but if Argento's screenplay is tight enough for him to focus on the visual magic, this concept is right up his alley. Vincent Gallo sadly dropped out because of past ties to the director's daughter, Asia Argento, who has also since left the project. Still on board are Adrien Brody and Emmanuelle Seigner, which seems promising given the criticism usually directed toward performances in his films. But please, Dario, no more CGI. Jaundice and CGI is just too much for this fan to handle.

"No comment?"

Nailed
Release: 2009
Director: David O. Russell

My Gyllenhaal withdrawal will not be sustained by a video game adaptation, no matter how shirtless he is or how many times I angrily view it. Only the notoriously difficult director of Flirting with Disaster and I Heart Huckabees can give me my fix. Taking time off from being strangled by George Clooney and calling Lily Tomlin a cunt, David O. Russell's been struggling to get this film completed due to a bevy of financing disruptions and yet another actor dispute, this time with James Caan over choking on a cookie. The plot concerns a waitress (Jessica Biel) who gets a nail lodged in her forehead, causing her to become a total nymphomaniac. (Where was 7th Heaven with that plot?) The accident leads her to Washington and into the hands of a willing and clueless senator (Jake Gyllenhaal). To top it all off, it's also time for Jake's reunion with the Lovely & Amazing Catherine Keener! He's legal now, Catherine, but you best stand in line. You too, Dustin Hoffman!

He uses that tired Huckabees line: "It'll all come back to you and interconnection."

Untitled Nicole Holofcener Project
Release: 2009 (?)
Director: Nicole Holofcener

Speaking of Lovely & Amazing, am I the only one who absolutely loves the indie charms of Nicole Holofcener? This will be her fourth directorial outing (including Walking and Talking and Friends with Money) and fourth time wisely casting Catherine Keener, whose sly comic wonder melds so perfectly with Holofcener's sharp dialogue. The plot is summed up as "lives and relationships in a New York apartment building," and odds are that's exactly what we'll get. The pleasures come in the form of perceptively nuanced characters and their witty, uncomfortable exchanges I'm sure. Keener's joined by Amanda Peet, Kevin Corrigan and Rebecca Hall, who's especially enticing after her conflicted performance in this year's Vicky Cristina Barcelona. Viva la female auteurs!

Seriously, Keener...

Part 2 coming soon.

"Just put your cigarette out on Juno..."

or, Recent Viewings and the Studio Standstill


It seems every movie I'm curious to see of late is being held up from release. By the time I actually see it, there's usually a clear reason why. Two pretty recent examples: An American Crime and Southland Tales. Both films are plagued by plots that I assume are deemed unappealing to the mainstream; packaged in confusion, lengthy runtimes, or a general feel bad vibe. That or we can blame it on two of Sean William Scott in the same movie. It begs the question, what's at all worse about these films than any on the summer movie slate? And why do studios insist on limiting their film's possibilities?

Maybe I've answered my own questions. Just see An American Crime.

Catherine Keener's so good, she makes abusing other people's children seem thoughtful and compelling. She can scream "prostitute" with such nuance. And Ellen Page turns on the sweet innocence so that you forget Juno's sass mouth and forgive her for introducing "honest to blog" into people's vocabulary. This grim true story is about a mentally ill mother, Gertrude Baniszewski (Keener), who babysits and batters a young girl (Page), all the while inviting friends and family to join in. Happy late Mother's Day, Ms. Baniszewski!


This is fascinating, nasty stuff on a true crime level, yet it's stuffed into obvious narrative convention. Voice overs, court testimonies, ghostly flashbacks... it's all a bit stiff in its presentation. It's not heavy arthouse drama by any means, though it would have benefited from that kind of angle. Let's face it though, the masses don't want to see the breakthrough starlet that just warmed their hearts get branded and beaten into submission. The masses don't, but apparently I do. I'm disturbed, and Catherine Keener can kick any child for my hard earned cash.

I still don't understand why a studio couldn't sell it as a well-acted horror film, or base its publicity on the fresh young Oscar nominee in the lead? Perhaps I might become a marketing executive so I can get more people to see depressing films under false pretenses...

And then there's a film like Southland Tales, which I think could have easily gotten a bigger rollout. Not because it deserves it, but because it seems destined to have found an audience if marketed properly. It's overlong, it got bad buzz at Cannes, but that doesn't halt a hit as we all know. Hold out for the summer and advertise ad nauseam. The Rock somehow still has fans, so does Justin Timberlake, and Richard Kelley's debut Donnie Darko has an almost baffling cult following to build on. Alas, Southland Tales will have to follow suit with home video success. If only it were one-eighth as good a film as Donnie Darko... Maybe it's my Gyllenhaal withdrawal talking.


The words "ambitious" and "mess" got tossed around a lot in its weekend-long release, and oh how right they were. Southland Tales is like Terry Gilliam's Brazil, if it were tacky and populated by the cast of SNL. It understandably got the green light because of its bankable cast, but it's bogglingly excessive, distancing and distracted. Hip, current satire put through an MTV blender and sprinkled with bad LSD. Still, that even ups my surprise as to why this didn't get more studio backing. It's as visually propelled as something like Speed Racer and ripe for nerdy forum discussions. Plus, for those that actually do enjoy it, there's plenty to feast on for a second viewing. Does that mean the geek fanboy crowds have resigned themselves to online downloads and video-on-demand? I guess that was the case for this Buffy freak, so I shouldn't pass the blame. Southland Tales has its share of honest laughs, visual panache and innovative ideas, but calling it a success seems like picking those bits out of a massive scrap heap.

My proof of its merits will come in a collective of words and wisdom from Sarah Michelle Gellar as porn entrepreneur Krysta Now. She's reason enough to give this whopping blunder a watch. Had the studios put these gems in their trailer, they might have had a hit on their hands.

"Can I tell you a secret? I'm fucking a very large and important man."

"Scientists are saying the future is going to be far more futuristic than they originally predicted."

"We're a bisexual nation living in denial. All because of a bunch of nerds. A bunch of nerds who got off a boat in the fifteenth century and decided that sex was something to be ashamed of. All the Pilgrims did was ruin the American Indian orgy of freedom."

"Violence is a big problem in our society today and I will not support it. That is the primary reason why I won't do anal."