Mass for Cinephile Shut-Ins: Part Four

Let us commune over all this vague pre-publicity so as to garner faith and hope for a bright cinematic future. And let us also pass invalid judgment.

This is Part Four.

Human scientific experiments at their most prim and proper.

Never Let Me Go

directed by: Mark Romanek

written by: Alex Garland, Kazuo Ishiguro (novel)

starring: Keira Knightley, Carey Mulligan, Sally Hawkins, Charlotte Rampling

Basically: Friends reunite to unravel a shared dark past at their private boarding school.

And We Should Care Because: The summary suggests English period drama of an ordinary kind, when the plot is actually steeped in scholarly sci-fi. Based on a novel by The Remains of the Day author Kazuo Ishiguro, threads of the story involve tea, scones, cloning and dystopias. Wisely the school seems to have cloned a choice British cast in the likes of Knightley, Hawkins, Rampling, and fresh-faced breakthrough Carey Mulligan. Director Mark Romanek's career consists largely of music videos, outside of his 2002 freak show set during Robin Williams dark period. Not the scarring era of Patch Adams, RV, License to Wed and Old Dogs, but the characteristically dark period that included Death to Smoochy, Insomnia, and Romanek's own One Hour Photo. The meld of an ace female cast, sinister schoolgirl undercurrents, and a notable visual stylist, could make for a posh, pleasant surprise.

Status: Curious

Walking and Talking,

and waiting for old people to die off.

Please Give

directed and written by: Nicole Holofcener

starring: Catherine Keener, Amanda Peet, Rebecca Hall, Oliver Platt, Kevin Corrigan

Basically: A couple stirs confrontation as they eye the antiques of an elderly woman in their New York apartment building.

And We Should Care Because: Nicole Holofcener's films are so adept at delving into specific characteristic quirks, without those detrimental indie quirks. Lovely & Amazing is perhaps her most acclaimed title, and an apt description of Holofcener's charming, but still scathing, works. Alongside longtime muse and perfect sardonic vessel, Catherine Keener, Holofcener will once again seek to dissect human flaws, flawlessly. Advanced word from Sundance has given fans reason to demand, "Please, Give," with critics citing the writer/director's consistent talent for making small moments ring of immensely poignant truths.

Status: Can't Miss

The Origin of Grief-Stricken Love

Rabbit Hole

directed by: John Cameron Mitchell

written by: David Lindsay-Abaire

starring: Nicole Kidman, Aaron Eckhart, Dianne Wiest

Basically: A couple unravels upon the death of their four-year-old son.

And We Should Care Because: John Cameron Mitchell is a reputable auteur after two dynamic and distinctive works: the trans rock spectacular Hedwig and the Angry Inch, and the neurotic sex spectacular Shortbus. Based on the Pulitzer Prize winning stage play by David Lindsay-Abaire, the tonal shift seems inevitably darker than Cameron Mitchell's past works, but he has already shown himself to be gifted at balancing even his bawdiest moments with some touching backstory. For what reads like a conventional drama, the cast and crew promises anything but. Nicole Kidman graciously ties herself to another edgy indie director - the type of career choice that consistently gives her the best material. And we know by now that a grieving Kidman is a great Kidman. Aaron Eckhart and Dianne Wiest lend their own spark to what easily sounds like one of the highlight dramas of the year. I'm so ready to love taking the plunge down this rabbit hole of despair.

Status: Can't Miss

Being a celebrity is about sex, drugs,

and paying child support.

Somewhere

directed and written by: Sofia Coppola

starring: Stephen Dorff, Elle Fanning, Benicio Del Toro, Chris Pontius

Basically: Troubled actor Johnny Marco receives a wake up call from his 11-year-old daughter while holed up at LA's infamous Chateau Marmont.

And We Should Care Because: One of the most fascinating directors working today - female or otherwise - Sofia Coppola finds such startling grace in her relaxed, atmospheric tone poems on film. Her last, the unjustly ignored and utterly sublime Marie Antoinette, had Coppola taking on a project of historically grand scale with a personal, ethereal touch. Somewhere reads like it could very well find itself in a similarly detached headspace as the many lethargic and longing characters Coppola has confronted throughout her career. She's keeping it interesting with oft-ignored actor Stephen Dorff playing bad-boy Johnny Marco, and a compellingly cast Chris Pontius of MTV's Jackass as one of Johnny's pals. Stellar French band Phoenix (the lead of whom is married to Coppola) is also lending their talents to the soundtrack.

Status: Can't Miss

Bite your tongue.
Then bite mine.

The Talking Cure

directed by: David Cronenberg

written by: Christopher Hampton (play)

starring: Viggo Mortensen, Michael Fassbender, Keira Knightley

Basically: Carl Jung finds therapeutic and romantic success while using Sigmund Freud's "talking cure" approach on a disturbed female patient. Freud names Jung his successor only to find discord and a division of thought.

And We Should Care Because: All that male goodness under the guidance of mastermind David Cronenberg? My mind is officially blown Scanners-style. The collaborations between Mortensen and Cronenberg have already yielded two jaw dropping performances in two knockout films. The inclusion of Club Silencio favorite, the equally jaw dropping Michael Fassbender, could only be topped if Cronenberg were to make a sequel to the bathhouse scene in Eastern Promises. What can I say, I'm Rabid with a case of sexually parasitic Shivers. The mental minefield premise seems right up Cronenberg's alley. He's never one to disappoint when it comes the psychological, sexual, and everything dark and delicious in the Interzone.

Status: Can't Miss

Part Five soon.

Don't Tempt Me... This is Getting Ridiculous

The 20 Most Tempting Titles of 2009

(#6-10)

#11-15 here / #16-20 here

(6) Whatever Works
Director: Woody Allen
Starring: Larry David, Evan Rachel Wood, Patricia Clarkson, Henry Cavill

Woody Allen's return year after year is a bit like Christmas for me -- a funny, philosophical, adulterous Christmas. Last year's Vicky Cristina Barcelona was a stupendously light and lustful surprise, and my favorite film of the year. With Woody's latest we'll be again seeing Patricia Clarkson turn her two minutes of screen time into another resonant stunner, and she's joined by Woody's neurotic match point, Larry David. The plot's Mighty Aphrodite-vibe links Larry to Evan Rachel Wood for a romantic and comic tryst once he decides to abandon his upper-echelon existence for something more bohemian... and blond. Whatever works, Larry.

And permit me to begin my "Don't Tempt Me 2010" list because Woody's already lined up an awe-inspiring cast for his next (untitled) feature that's definitely what's working for me: Nicole Kidman, Naomi Watts, Antonio Banderas and Josh Brolin! Swoon.

Evan Rachel wants nothing to do with Larry's banana. If she's anything like me she's holding out for Henry Cavill's.

(7) This Side of the Truth

Director: Ricky Gervais /Matthew Robinson

Starring: Ricky Gervais, Tina Fey, Christopher Guest, Jason Bateman, Jeffrey Tambor

Ricky Gervais is the rare television/film/podcast/standup mastermind whose talents and empire are actually deserving. As a comic genius he's also wise to surround himself with rival comic genius. Christopher Guest! Jason Bateman! Jeffrey Tambor! Tina Fey! No lie, this sounds like comedy heaven. It also acts as a potentially amazing placeholder for the Arrested Development Movie while it's still in development shackles.

In a world where no one ever tells lies, Gervais stars as the first man to exploit dishonesty for financial gain. A boldfaced move on his part that sets off a catastrophic tidal wave of deception and farcical falsehoods. The plot's promising enough on its own, and we already know how Gervais handles playing a socially inept cad. Maybe it's having re-watched The Office and Extras back-to-back, but if God were to come back as a British comic he'd look exactly like this:


Another "Don't Tempt Me 2010" addition: It's actually possible Gervais is working on something even more tempting with The Men at the Pru -- his first feature film collaboration with co-mastermind Stephen Merchant, the man at the side of Ricky's greatest successes. Even our British Comedy Savior needs his man behind the curtain.

(8) Please Give
Director: Nicole Holofcener
Starring: Catherine Keener, Rebecca Hall, Amanda Peet, Kevin Corrigan

Of the female directors working in America, Nicole Holofcener seems one of the most notable and still too unnoticed. Please, someone, give her consistent indie funding, and preferably her own HBO series starring Catherine Keener. If we're ever to believe IMDb, this is the appropriately simple summary to her latest project: In New York City, a husband and wife butt heads with the granddaughters of the elderly woman who lives in apartment the couple owns.

Not so tempting in theory, but with Holofcener's films it's all about those ringing truths and small characteristic tweaks. I should never undersell her either: Friends with Money had Jennifer Aniston smoking weed and stealing vibrators and face cream, plus Frances McDormand refusing to wash her hair. In Holofcener's hands Catherine Keener's also been busted for underage sex with a minor, but as in her tradition of creating relatable scenarios, it was with Jake Gyllenhaal.

Friends with Munchies

Her work on cult faves like Walking and Talking, even episodes for TV classics Six Feet Under and Sex and the City, mark some of the more fully realized female arcs available in modern comedy, and some genuinely whip-smart and funny character pieces in general. Keener continues her collaboration, assuredly sharp as ever. She's joined by Rebecca Hall, who worked some sour/supple magic in Vicky Cristina Barcelona that actually seems in perfect fusion with Holofcener's films.

SO relatable.

(9) Nine
Director: Rob Marshall
Starring: Nicole Kidman, Penélope Cruz, Daniel Day-Lewis, Sophia Loren, Judi Dench

A stunning cast is setting the stage for Rob Marshall's return to the movie musical post-Chicago. One of the best things about that film was Marshall's successfully cinematic showstoppers, which is perfect considering this film revolves around a filmmaker and the many women revolving through his life. So many promising setups and period style, and the perfection that is this cast. Nicole Kidman's returning to movie musical that treated her so well, alongside Oscar-winning follow-up performances by the mesmerizing Daniel Day-Lewis and Penélope Cruz. Some real razzle dazzle!

Somebody's been good to Mama, because Mama's been good to us!

(10) Nailed
Director: David O. Russell
Starring: Jake Gyllenhaal, Catherine Keener, Jessica Biel, Paul Reubens, Jon Stewart, Kirstie Alley

I don't know if it's due to the abuses inflicted on his cast and crew, but David O. Russell knows great comedy. And since misery loves company, he also knows how to assemble an awesome ensemble. This time his oddball choice of casting Jessica Biel is softened by the blow of a nail to her character's head -- and it's actually a central plot device that sends her character to Washington D.C., dizzy with a cause and into the arms of a willing senator, played by the ever-nailable Jake Gyllenhaal. As Russell's done with I Heart Huckabees and Flirting with Disaster, there's a troupe of underused comic supporters. Among them there's the pleasant coincidence of Jake actually being reunited with his still Lovely & Amazing co-star Catherine Keener after all that nasty police business and him having hit legal age.

SO, SO relatable.

COMING SOON: The 5 Most Tempting Titles of 2009!

2009 and Beyond the Infinite: Part 1

These are features to look forward to in 2009 and beyond; a few that could very well never see the light of day, but the filmmakers persist to taunt us anyhow. In no particular order, I give you a look into the future...

The Countess
Release: 2009
Director: Julie Delpy

She's given up on walking around foreign cities talking about love and taken up bathing in the blood of virgins. After last year's underrated 2 Days in Paris, Julie Delpy, the truly stunning actress, director and musician, is taking the reins on the historical horror feature The Countess. The film details the true story of Countess Elizabeth Bathory in 16th century Hungary, whose beauty regimen was... shall we say... strict? Use it or lose it, ladies! The (suspiciously) beautiful Delpy will we playing the sinister Countess alongside co-stars William Hurt and Anamaria Marinca, who gave us a stirring turn in last years 4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days. A very vague teaser trailer here.

"It's the Countess! Quick, pretend you're a slut!"

Broken Embraces
Release: 2009
Director: Pedro Almodóvar

Penelopé Cruz is on a hot streak that looks to continue in her fourth collaboration with the ever-brilliant Pedro Almodóvar. The story concerns an accident on the island of Lanzarote, the filming of a comedy in the vein of Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown, and presumably some broken embraces. Any more details would ruin the film's guaranteed pleasures. Rossy de Palma, Blanco Portillo and Chus Lampreave also continue their partnerships in what Almodóvar promises to be his most "novel-like" film to date, and one a bit darker in tone than the previous Volver. Is there any way this one could fail? I'll answer for you. No.

Hugging time is over!

Fruitcake
Release: 2009 (?)
Director: John Waters

Not since Dawn Davenport got cheated of her cha-cha heels has Christmas sounded this deliciously warped. John Waters directs his first "children's film," as if that's not enough to make parents already mortified. It's the tale of Fruitcake, a boy who runs away from home during the holidays when his family is caught shoplifting meat in that true Baltimore style. Divine would be so proud... Fruitcake teams up with another young girl, raised by her two gay fathers, who's gone in search of her birth mother. It sounds subversive, potentially scandalous, and with just a dose of Hairspray-like sweetness. Waters last few films have been arguably mixed efforts, but his pairing with the great comedic talents of Parker Posey should prove, umm... fruitful? Oh how I missed you John Waters. Where else can I expect to see a parent call their child an asshole for my amusement?

"I hate you, I hate this house, and I hate Christmas!"

Giallo
Release: 2009
Director: Dario Argento

So while the slightly camp charm of his seventies classics has morphed into camp excess, a new Dario Argento film's always worth a look. For his follow-up to the divisive The Third Mother, he's going back to the basics and referencing the very genre he helped to define in his debut The Bird with the Crystal Plumage. The film's title Giallo comes from the Italian murder-mystery genre and, well, the Italian word for "yellow." It's also the nickname of a murderer with yellowed skin who's knocking off Milan's most beautiful models. As you can probably guess, the police inspector is missing that one crucial clue that could lead him to the killer. Well that yellow-skinned killer has some unnerving cheese potential (that draws upon my painful memories of the dreadful Black Xmas), but if Argento's screenplay is tight enough for him to focus on the visual magic, this concept is right up his alley. Vincent Gallo sadly dropped out because of past ties to the director's daughter, Asia Argento, who has also since left the project. Still on board are Adrien Brody and Emmanuelle Seigner, which seems promising given the criticism usually directed toward performances in his films. But please, Dario, no more CGI. Jaundice and CGI is just too much for this fan to handle.

"No comment?"

Nailed
Release: 2009
Director: David O. Russell

My Gyllenhaal withdrawal will not be sustained by a video game adaptation, no matter how shirtless he is or how many times I angrily view it. Only the notoriously difficult director of Flirting with Disaster and I Heart Huckabees can give me my fix. Taking time off from being strangled by George Clooney and calling Lily Tomlin a cunt, David O. Russell's been struggling to get this film completed due to a bevy of financing disruptions and yet another actor dispute, this time with James Caan over choking on a cookie. The plot concerns a waitress (Jessica Biel) who gets a nail lodged in her forehead, causing her to become a total nymphomaniac. (Where was 7th Heaven with that plot?) The accident leads her to Washington and into the hands of a willing and clueless senator (Jake Gyllenhaal). To top it all off, it's also time for Jake's reunion with the Lovely & Amazing Catherine Keener! He's legal now, Catherine, but you best stand in line. You too, Dustin Hoffman!

He uses that tired Huckabees line: "It'll all come back to you and interconnection."

Untitled Nicole Holofcener Project
Release: 2009 (?)
Director: Nicole Holofcener

Speaking of Lovely & Amazing, am I the only one who absolutely loves the indie charms of Nicole Holofcener? This will be her fourth directorial outing (including Walking and Talking and Friends with Money) and fourth time wisely casting Catherine Keener, whose sly comic wonder melds so perfectly with Holofcener's sharp dialogue. The plot is summed up as "lives and relationships in a New York apartment building," and odds are that's exactly what we'll get. The pleasures come in the form of perceptively nuanced characters and their witty, uncomfortable exchanges I'm sure. Keener's joined by Amanda Peet, Kevin Corrigan and Rebecca Hall, who's especially enticing after her conflicted performance in this year's Vicky Cristina Barcelona. Viva la female auteurs!

Seriously, Keener...

Part 2 coming soon.