ON THIS DAY...

DECEMBER 4th

ON THIS DAY...

NOVEMBER 12th

Auteur Update

The Skin I Live In (La piel que habito) is said to be Pedro Almodovár's "horror" film. As is typical of his career though, that genre can barely define or contain his style and sense of humor. The style of the trailer is another topic altogether. The soundtrack pops and veers over absurd imagery involving tiger suits and basement hose downs. While it seems to give away some bigger plot points, its manic meld more or less conjures questions like, "What the hell was that all about?" As should be expected, the mood is dazzling, the colors pop, and Pedro's storyline seems to soar and startle in equal measure.



Antonio Banderas returns for his sixth collaboration with Almodovár, a place where he's found his most fruitful roles to date (apologies to the Puss in Boots fans). I didn't create and dutifully enforce "The Law of Desire for Antonio Banderas" without damn fine reason...


It should be interesting to see if he once again falls into the mold of playing completely lovable psychotics, such as the sensual stalkers of Law of Desire and Tie Me Up! Tie Me Down!, or his gentle attempted rapist from Matador. Being a man is more than enough to make him seem dastardly in Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown. (And Labyrinth of Passion remains my one unseen Pedro picture, considering it's caught in the labyrinth of unreleased titles in the US.) Playing with guns, making skin suits and abducting pretty ladies is enough to verify Banderas' psychotic side, and he does look lovely as ever.

Paredes, Banderas, Almodovár and Anaya at Cannes

His lovely leading ladies are played by Elena Anaya (Talk to Her) and fellow Almodovár veteran Marisa Paredes (All About My Mother, The Flower of My Secret, High Heels), while cinematographer José Luis Alcaine has captured some of Pedro's most seductive and sensational images with Volver, Bad Education, and Antonio Banderas naked in Tie Me Up! Tie Me Down! It promises to be a horror film with heart... clad in a skintight tiger suit.



David Cronenberg's A Dangerous Method looks to pair the the heated psychosexual dueling (and dualing) of Dead Ringers with a historical period piece. However, if this trailer were a Rorschach blot all anyone would see is Oscar-bait. That generic music swell completely stifles the madness and masochism we know is more to Cronenberg's style. It's a safe method I suppose to avoid the more sordid subplots with eyes on the acting prize, but this trailer couldn't be more confining if it were a corset.



You don't need a monocle to see that Michael Fassbender makes for a dashing lead as Carl Jung, tightly tailored and touting an oddly entrancing moustache. Together with Cronenberg favorite, a dapper Viggo Mortensen (as Sigmund Freud), well... One can only hope they experience a Freudian slip.


Oh, and Keira something or other is all messed up in the head... It seems to have all the period opulence with even more opulent actors, and enough headplay to burst your head Scanners-style. But that's just my professional opinion.

Psychology Quiz:

Jung or Freud?

Something Rank (#32-29)

The countdown continues...
The franchise favorites face off!

#33-36 here.

(#32) Halloween II (2010)

Starring Scout Taylor Compton, Malcolm McDowell and expletives! Why is Haddonfield, Illinois now a miserable trailer park?

"One day at a time? One fuckin' day at a time! You know what, if I hear that fuckin' phrase one more fuckin' time... I mean she just fuckin' sits there in her fuckin' leather chair and judges me like she's fuckin' God... See? You don't fuckin' care."
--Laurie Strode

And why do the local stations only broadcast "Knights in White Satin?" If Rob Zombie's attempt is to show the ugliness of violence and death, and the affects on the living, he botches this by having everything seem so extraneous. The attempt to analyze the aftereffects of being a Final Girl is great in theory, dismal in practice. Doctor Loomis yawning on the sidelines, a needless role for Zombie's wife that would have seemed cheesy if it weren't already ridiculous, and so many superfluous deaths of characters we've no reason to take an interest in. Zombie seems to care more for Michael than his victims, and unfortunately Michael Myers is a human vacuum, a bulldozer. If there is forgiveness, Zombie is talented at creating some visceral moments. The remake portion does a fair job of echoing the original sequel with a grisly edge, and it's always clear the man loves horror films (though I often think the Halloween he loves is a completely different film than the one I love). Here are his usual fanboy cameos, this time the heartwarming trio of Caroline Williams (Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2), Weird Al (?) and Margot "You Can't Rape a Townie" Kidder.


There's even a nice moment where Scout Taylor Compton does a full on Marilyn Burns sob scene just like that in 1974's The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, but even then it's all just a dream (Mr. Sandman, bring us a better dream). Zombie's shown in the past to carve some memorably gruesome imagery out of all the human garbage he creates, but here it mostly lays waste.

Killer Looks:

1) The lighter side of family homicide
2) The dark reality of growing up to be Grizzly Adams

2) "The Night HE Came Home..."
and overstayed his welcome.

My Thoughts Exactly...

(#31) The Texas Chainsaw Massacre:
The Beginning (2006)

I remember when origin stories used to have a story. Leatherface never really needed one. Picked on at school and the slaughterhouse for being noseless and having a really offputting family, little Leatherface takes to wearing people interchangeably throughout the day. Poor kid, he can't exactly invite friends over for dinner, we know how those always turn out... In fact that infamous "dinner scene" was the one iconic moment left out of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake. A surprise considering how many times that scene has been mimicked in other films, not to mention the whole Chainsaw franchise. Thus this film had to be made. Barring that, this is a sufficient exercise in savagery. Emotionless, decently shot sufficiency. With a few really good looking people.

Killer Looks:

And a lot of ugly people wearing a few really good looking people...

My Thoughts Exactly...

(#30) Freddy's Dead:
The Final Nightmare (1991)

Springwood is a town without teenagers. Freddy Krueger has torn the small haven to shreds with his razor-sharp fists and snarky puns. When a new group of teens enters Elm Street territory, Freddy finds himself with a whole new set of people to harass and mutilate, in a whole new dimension!


You want to admire a film that opens with a quote from Nietzsche, followed with Freddy's eloquent, "Welcome to prime time, bitch!" Alas... The occasional cheap 3-D effect and absurdity (see: cameos by Roseanne and Tom Arnold) would ideally make this a campy charm just like the rest of the Nightmare series, but Freddy's Dead in SO many ways.

Killer Looks:

1) Bedknobs, Broomsticks and Burn Victims

2) LA Bus Driver

3) Child Murdering: The Early Years

My Thoughts Exactly...

(#29) Jason X (2001)

Meta moment: Upon being pulled into outer space, a character cries, "This sucks on so many levels!" At least it has a sense of humor about it. Your mileage may vary depending on your taste for the SyFy Channel.


The gunplay, tech speak and genre sendups always feel uncomfortable. Admirably it tries to stay true to the franchise, with a knowing wink to the absolute stupidity at times. At least there are a couple death scenes worth the Friday namesake: a frozen face shattered and Jason utterly obliterated. Is a series not doomed once it's sending its icon into space? More importantly, do Jason and Leprechaun hang out?

Killer Looks:

Jason 2.0. Trading his trademark mask for a metallic reinvention. I don't think Jason really played hockey anyhow.

My Thoughts Exactly...

(Left: A dead ringer for David Cronenberg!)

Up Next: (#28-25)

Jason goes to hell and lives to tell about it!

Mass for Cinephile Shut-Ins: Part Four

Let us commune over all this vague pre-publicity so as to garner faith and hope for a bright cinematic future. And let us also pass invalid judgment.

This is Part Four.

Human scientific experiments at their most prim and proper.

Never Let Me Go

directed by: Mark Romanek

written by: Alex Garland, Kazuo Ishiguro (novel)

starring: Keira Knightley, Carey Mulligan, Sally Hawkins, Charlotte Rampling

Basically: Friends reunite to unravel a shared dark past at their private boarding school.

And We Should Care Because: The summary suggests English period drama of an ordinary kind, when the plot is actually steeped in scholarly sci-fi. Based on a novel by The Remains of the Day author Kazuo Ishiguro, threads of the story involve tea, scones, cloning and dystopias. Wisely the school seems to have cloned a choice British cast in the likes of Knightley, Hawkins, Rampling, and fresh-faced breakthrough Carey Mulligan. Director Mark Romanek's career consists largely of music videos, outside of his 2002 freak show set during Robin Williams dark period. Not the scarring era of Patch Adams, RV, License to Wed and Old Dogs, but the characteristically dark period that included Death to Smoochy, Insomnia, and Romanek's own One Hour Photo. The meld of an ace female cast, sinister schoolgirl undercurrents, and a notable visual stylist, could make for a posh, pleasant surprise.

Status: Curious

Walking and Talking,

and waiting for old people to die off.

Please Give

directed and written by: Nicole Holofcener

starring: Catherine Keener, Amanda Peet, Rebecca Hall, Oliver Platt, Kevin Corrigan

Basically: A couple stirs confrontation as they eye the antiques of an elderly woman in their New York apartment building.

And We Should Care Because: Nicole Holofcener's films are so adept at delving into specific characteristic quirks, without those detrimental indie quirks. Lovely & Amazing is perhaps her most acclaimed title, and an apt description of Holofcener's charming, but still scathing, works. Alongside longtime muse and perfect sardonic vessel, Catherine Keener, Holofcener will once again seek to dissect human flaws, flawlessly. Advanced word from Sundance has given fans reason to demand, "Please, Give," with critics citing the writer/director's consistent talent for making small moments ring of immensely poignant truths.

Status: Can't Miss

The Origin of Grief-Stricken Love

Rabbit Hole

directed by: John Cameron Mitchell

written by: David Lindsay-Abaire

starring: Nicole Kidman, Aaron Eckhart, Dianne Wiest

Basically: A couple unravels upon the death of their four-year-old son.

And We Should Care Because: John Cameron Mitchell is a reputable auteur after two dynamic and distinctive works: the trans rock spectacular Hedwig and the Angry Inch, and the neurotic sex spectacular Shortbus. Based on the Pulitzer Prize winning stage play by David Lindsay-Abaire, the tonal shift seems inevitably darker than Cameron Mitchell's past works, but he has already shown himself to be gifted at balancing even his bawdiest moments with some touching backstory. For what reads like a conventional drama, the cast and crew promises anything but. Nicole Kidman graciously ties herself to another edgy indie director - the type of career choice that consistently gives her the best material. And we know by now that a grieving Kidman is a great Kidman. Aaron Eckhart and Dianne Wiest lend their own spark to what easily sounds like one of the highlight dramas of the year. I'm so ready to love taking the plunge down this rabbit hole of despair.

Status: Can't Miss

Being a celebrity is about sex, drugs,

and paying child support.

Somewhere

directed and written by: Sofia Coppola

starring: Stephen Dorff, Elle Fanning, Benicio Del Toro, Chris Pontius

Basically: Troubled actor Johnny Marco receives a wake up call from his 11-year-old daughter while holed up at LA's infamous Chateau Marmont.

And We Should Care Because: One of the most fascinating directors working today - female or otherwise - Sofia Coppola finds such startling grace in her relaxed, atmospheric tone poems on film. Her last, the unjustly ignored and utterly sublime Marie Antoinette, had Coppola taking on a project of historically grand scale with a personal, ethereal touch. Somewhere reads like it could very well find itself in a similarly detached headspace as the many lethargic and longing characters Coppola has confronted throughout her career. She's keeping it interesting with oft-ignored actor Stephen Dorff playing bad-boy Johnny Marco, and a compellingly cast Chris Pontius of MTV's Jackass as one of Johnny's pals. Stellar French band Phoenix (the lead of whom is married to Coppola) is also lending their talents to the soundtrack.

Status: Can't Miss

Bite your tongue.
Then bite mine.

The Talking Cure

directed by: David Cronenberg

written by: Christopher Hampton (play)

starring: Viggo Mortensen, Michael Fassbender, Keira Knightley

Basically: Carl Jung finds therapeutic and romantic success while using Sigmund Freud's "talking cure" approach on a disturbed female patient. Freud names Jung his successor only to find discord and a division of thought.

And We Should Care Because: All that male goodness under the guidance of mastermind David Cronenberg? My mind is officially blown Scanners-style. The collaborations between Mortensen and Cronenberg have already yielded two jaw dropping performances in two knockout films. The inclusion of Club Silencio favorite, the equally jaw dropping Michael Fassbender, could only be topped if Cronenberg were to make a sequel to the bathhouse scene in Eastern Promises. What can I say, I'm Rabid with a case of sexually parasitic Shivers. The mental minefield premise seems right up Cronenberg's alley. He's never one to disappoint when it comes the psychological, sexual, and everything dark and delicious in the Interzone.

Status: Can't Miss

Part Five soon.

Defensive Cinema #1: Crash (1996)

Defensive Cinema is a series devoted to films seemingly dismissed by the greater population. And me getting all defensive like and telling you why my opinions hold more water than yours.

David Cronenberg's Crash is .... like a car accident. You can't look away. Partially because there's people having sex in the wreckage, but mostly because it's a deliberately judged, chilling and elegant film that deepens, warps and scars each time you view it.

Crash author J.G Ballard wrote a fanboy letter to Cronenberg, that's how true he felt to this cinematic adaptation. Beyond that it's a film true to the director's style - seeing as horrors of body and mind are the center of Cronenberg's universe. Thus this story of people aroused by car accidents. Each character tells a frightening, oddly beautiful story of detachment, sexual frustration, and love sought in the wreckage that is the human body. They're fascinating people because we have no idea exactly what's driving them. They also have some of my favorite character intros in film:

Catherine Ballard, Flight School Student.

She will undoubtedly excel in the industry.

James Ballard, Producer.

Loves his work but is overwhelmed.

Helen Remington, Doctor.

Moving on instantaneously from her husband's death in a car accident. An inspiration.

From the start, only one thing in this film is obvious: You can't take these people anywhere!


Gabrielle, Rosanna Arquette's handicapped character, is showing off her sense of style at the auto lot. Probably because she makes her own clothing. Heavy duty specialty clothing to hold her joints... and her joints.


Not to sound too high on it, but Crash is sensationally dense in creativity. It's about a truly modern form of lovemaking, the fusion of flesh and metal, social attachment wrapped inside social detachment, the American obsessions with sex and the automobile... That's all matched with a stellar sense of mood and detail, a perfect score by Howard Shore, and some entirely classic and original moments.

Including the best game of "show me your scars."


The best gay sex between husband and wife:


(For a translation just highlight here - seeing as Catherine's game of Crash-Victim 20 Questions is hilariously NSFW. Live dangerously.)

Catherine: Is he circumcised? Can you imagine what his anus must look like? Describe it to me. Would you like to sodomize him? Would you like to put your penis right into his anus? Just thrust it up his anus? Tell Me. Describe it to me. Tell me what you would do. Would you just kiss him in that car? Describe it to me. Reach over and unzip his greasy jeans. Take out his penis. Would you kiss it, or suck it, right away? Would you hold it in? Have you ever sucked a penis? Do you know what semen tastes like? Have you ever tasted semen? Some semen is saltier than others. Vaughn's semen must be very salty.

Crash is in Cronenberg's eyes a love story, and James and Catherine Ballard's love story is wholly unique to cinema. Fascinating, oddly erotic... And yet. (And yet.) True with every character really, they seem completely removed from each other and still more passionately close than ever. The problem is that they're always looking for something new. Sharing the experience of a car accident becomes something to strive for, something to survive, and a wound to see manifested on their sleek, stylish four wheels.


And like a car these couplings eventually get a little bit dirty. And so the film supplies a scene with the best worst car wash:

The only car wash where you come out dirtier than you went in. And that's probably a feeling many people have upon seeing Crash. (And probably as of now, reading this blog.) I say give it a test drive, or a second ride. One of Cronenberg's finest films I say (and a think-piece with some softcore.) Whatever you do: Drive Safe! Avoid running into that DVD with Sandra Bullock and Brendan Fraser - which is often a good rule of thumb. Maybe the next one... Maybe the next one.

Drive defensively! More Defensive Cinema coming soon!

Sickened by a Mother's Love

Send your rage elsewhere... This is just a gracious reminder to you and your brood that Mother's Day is May 10th!