Mia Meta Man

"I just met a wonderful new man. He's fictional but you can't have everything."

-The Purple Rose of Cairo

(Does this mean I have to sit through Prince of Persia fifteen times?)

Don't Tempt Me... This is Getting Ridiculous

The 20 Most Tempting Titles of 2009

(#6-10)

#11-15 here / #16-20 here

(6) Whatever Works
Director: Woody Allen
Starring: Larry David, Evan Rachel Wood, Patricia Clarkson, Henry Cavill

Woody Allen's return year after year is a bit like Christmas for me -- a funny, philosophical, adulterous Christmas. Last year's Vicky Cristina Barcelona was a stupendously light and lustful surprise, and my favorite film of the year. With Woody's latest we'll be again seeing Patricia Clarkson turn her two minutes of screen time into another resonant stunner, and she's joined by Woody's neurotic match point, Larry David. The plot's Mighty Aphrodite-vibe links Larry to Evan Rachel Wood for a romantic and comic tryst once he decides to abandon his upper-echelon existence for something more bohemian... and blond. Whatever works, Larry.

And permit me to begin my "Don't Tempt Me 2010" list because Woody's already lined up an awe-inspiring cast for his next (untitled) feature that's definitely what's working for me: Nicole Kidman, Naomi Watts, Antonio Banderas and Josh Brolin! Swoon.

Evan Rachel wants nothing to do with Larry's banana. If she's anything like me she's holding out for Henry Cavill's.

(7) This Side of the Truth

Director: Ricky Gervais /Matthew Robinson

Starring: Ricky Gervais, Tina Fey, Christopher Guest, Jason Bateman, Jeffrey Tambor

Ricky Gervais is the rare television/film/podcast/standup mastermind whose talents and empire are actually deserving. As a comic genius he's also wise to surround himself with rival comic genius. Christopher Guest! Jason Bateman! Jeffrey Tambor! Tina Fey! No lie, this sounds like comedy heaven. It also acts as a potentially amazing placeholder for the Arrested Development Movie while it's still in development shackles.

In a world where no one ever tells lies, Gervais stars as the first man to exploit dishonesty for financial gain. A boldfaced move on his part that sets off a catastrophic tidal wave of deception and farcical falsehoods. The plot's promising enough on its own, and we already know how Gervais handles playing a socially inept cad. Maybe it's having re-watched The Office and Extras back-to-back, but if God were to come back as a British comic he'd look exactly like this:


Another "Don't Tempt Me 2010" addition: It's actually possible Gervais is working on something even more tempting with The Men at the Pru -- his first feature film collaboration with co-mastermind Stephen Merchant, the man at the side of Ricky's greatest successes. Even our British Comedy Savior needs his man behind the curtain.

(8) Please Give
Director: Nicole Holofcener
Starring: Catherine Keener, Rebecca Hall, Amanda Peet, Kevin Corrigan

Of the female directors working in America, Nicole Holofcener seems one of the most notable and still too unnoticed. Please, someone, give her consistent indie funding, and preferably her own HBO series starring Catherine Keener. If we're ever to believe IMDb, this is the appropriately simple summary to her latest project: In New York City, a husband and wife butt heads with the granddaughters of the elderly woman who lives in apartment the couple owns.

Not so tempting in theory, but with Holofcener's films it's all about those ringing truths and small characteristic tweaks. I should never undersell her either: Friends with Money had Jennifer Aniston smoking weed and stealing vibrators and face cream, plus Frances McDormand refusing to wash her hair. In Holofcener's hands Catherine Keener's also been busted for underage sex with a minor, but as in her tradition of creating relatable scenarios, it was with Jake Gyllenhaal.

Friends with Munchies

Her work on cult faves like Walking and Talking, even episodes for TV classics Six Feet Under and Sex and the City, mark some of the more fully realized female arcs available in modern comedy, and some genuinely whip-smart and funny character pieces in general. Keener continues her collaboration, assuredly sharp as ever. She's joined by Rebecca Hall, who worked some sour/supple magic in Vicky Cristina Barcelona that actually seems in perfect fusion with Holofcener's films.

SO relatable.

(9) Nine
Director: Rob Marshall
Starring: Nicole Kidman, Penélope Cruz, Daniel Day-Lewis, Sophia Loren, Judi Dench

A stunning cast is setting the stage for Rob Marshall's return to the movie musical post-Chicago. One of the best things about that film was Marshall's successfully cinematic showstoppers, which is perfect considering this film revolves around a filmmaker and the many women revolving through his life. So many promising setups and period style, and the perfection that is this cast. Nicole Kidman's returning to movie musical that treated her so well, alongside Oscar-winning follow-up performances by the mesmerizing Daniel Day-Lewis and Penélope Cruz. Some real razzle dazzle!

Somebody's been good to Mama, because Mama's been good to us!

(10) Nailed
Director: David O. Russell
Starring: Jake Gyllenhaal, Catherine Keener, Jessica Biel, Paul Reubens, Jon Stewart, Kirstie Alley

I don't know if it's due to the abuses inflicted on his cast and crew, but David O. Russell knows great comedy. And since misery loves company, he also knows how to assemble an awesome ensemble. This time his oddball choice of casting Jessica Biel is softened by the blow of a nail to her character's head -- and it's actually a central plot device that sends her character to Washington D.C., dizzy with a cause and into the arms of a willing senator, played by the ever-nailable Jake Gyllenhaal. As Russell's done with I Heart Huckabees and Flirting with Disaster, there's a troupe of underused comic supporters. Among them there's the pleasant coincidence of Jake actually being reunited with his still Lovely & Amazing co-star Catherine Keener after all that nasty police business and him having hit legal age.

SO, SO relatable.

COMING SOON: The 5 Most Tempting Titles of 2009!

Career Fallback with Uma Thurman

"I'd love to be a whore for a year. Just a year."

2008 Cheers and Tears

The year end lists bring out the best and worst in us, and usually say quite a bit about the critic at hand. I'd argue that I'm not nearly as emo as my five favorites would imply -- as in I'm not listening to Death Cab for Cutie as I cry and write in my poetry journal. I will say this year made good with the small, ambient indie film though, and who am I to resist such heady and depressing ambiguity.

So I didn't love The Dark Knight (meh) , I didn't cry over spilt Milk (I much preferred the documentary), and I didn't even see Slumdog Millionaire (I'm more of a Press Your Luck fan myself.). I never really caught on this year's bandwagons, but I'm happy to see the bandwagons were far less stuffed and plentiful in 2008.

Anyhow, here are my five personal favorites of 2008. If you don't agree, you can go cry about it. I know I will.

Coming soon to a Pottery Barn near you... Threeways!

Vicky Cristina Barcelona

Love is tourism in this sensuously bitter comedy from Woody Allen. It reverberates with lust and possibility and echoes back in disappointment. The sunlit serenity manages to somehow mask the deep cynicism of these characters and gives the film a very romantic spirit. But just like a summer romance, the passion fades with some distance. Allen stays true to his fascinations with an effortlessly light energy and surpasses most of his comedies within the last decade. He finds the best in his beautiful ensemble, particularly a dazzling Penélope Cruz, and makes the heart grow fonder while we immediately lust for the next great Woody Allen film.

If only they'd named it Optimism Park, none of this would have ever happened.

Paranoid Park

Gus Van Sant's enveloping aura says so much about the affected side of disaffected youth. We as the viewer are the world on their shoulders. Van Sant, alongside cinematographer Christopher Doyle, finds the world of adolescence in a state of perpetual static dreaming at war with the harsh reality of adulthood. A young skateboarder's guilt over a sudden life-altering incident (and one of the year's most scarring cinematic moments) streams into an ethereal, grim and affecting moodpiece, with all the weight of a human tragedy amongst the airiness of a vague childhood memory.

"Over there! I think I just saw Sally Field falling from a plane..."

Mister Lonely

An expressive, feeling, and humane look at identity through the eccentric eyes of Harmony Korine. In this world anyone can be a star and miracles can and do happen -- other times the magic fails and it's best just to be a face in the crowd. The dreamy atmospherics and poetic pondering are tinged with a wonderfully offbeat sense of humor, and somehow Michael Jackson painting eggs, Marilyn Monroe getting a sunburn, and Werner Herzog's miraculous flying nuns all seem utterly transcendent and profound. There is a beauty to individuality and this film is one-of-a-kind.

The most dire game of fetch ever played.

Wendy and Lucy

Deceptively simple and unexpectedly haunting, Wendy's story is remarkably open, as is Michelle Williams beautifully subtle and distanced performance. The loss of one's only companion, the hard road to starting a new life, or any life; director Kelly Reichardt makes minuscule moments ring of truth and deeper implications of the world at large. At its most base level of a girl in search of her lost dog, there's a heart-wrenching pain at this film's center and yet it's captured without force in an environment that's immediately recognizable. Wendy and Lucy lives and breathes like a stranger you meet in passing: you know just enough to get a strong feeling about it.

Even lap dances eventually take their toll.

The Wrestler

Character overcomes cliche in this tenderly realized tale of a pro-wrestler readying for the good fight. Mickey Rourke's inhabited turn as "Randy the Ram" is an affecting look at a man bruised and beaten by his choices, and Rourke finds the real ache in those wounds. Darren Aronofsky expertly orchestrates the passionate heights of a hero's journey and the despairing lows of an average man's weakness. He also manages to take his usual brilliance for visual trickery into a more subdued, but no less spectacular, playing field. The more standard threads of the narrative are easily beaten out by some wonderful nuance, Aronofsky's low-key precision and the enduring performances, including yet another vivid and lovely supporting turn by Marisa Tomei as a stripper on a similar stage. For every punch thrown there's some equally fancy footwork and so much more going on off-stage.

Obscure Beauty: Woody Allen

"I wondered if a memory is something you have
or something you've lost."

Yearnings from Barcelona

Vicky Cristina Barcelona is like a meld of two of my favorite things: Woody Allen and Pedro Almodóvar. You've got those sublime Spanish settings captured by cinematographer Javier Aguirresarobe (Talk to Her), a vivacious Penélope Cruz and suave Javier Bardem, as well as an ode to passions and the ever confounding ways of the heart. Well that's probably where the similarities end and the neuroses begin. Like London did for Match Point, it's obvious that this change of pace brought with it an invigoration for Allen, not unlike the lustful spark and curiosity that drives his characters.

There's a vibrancy and a spirit here that speaks to the brilliance of the Barcelona setting, matched with Allen's own witty mix of pessimism and romanticism. Vicky and Cristina are supposedly opposite sides of the coin when it comes to their desires and still they find a shared affection for Juan Antonio, a local artist. Vicky is one to justify or discredit her emotions based on logic and obligations, while Cristina fancies herself a "European spirit," open to the world's possibilities. When Juan Antonio gives an impulsive suggestion that the two women share a plane to Oviedo, as well as his bed, it quickly establishes his blunt and freeing passion for life. If any man could seduce Vicky from her shell, it's Juan Antonio. The invitation is accepted, albeit skeptically, and it opens up a new realm of possibilities for Vicky, whose impending marriage is soon pulled into question over a night of wine and Catalan guitars. In typical Allen fashion the romantic lives intermingle and double-cross, and while love may ultimately run its course, it might just be worth the short trip.

What struck me the most upon leaving the theater was a feeling of refreshment. It's enough to spend time in gorgeous sunlit locales set to Spanish serenades, but it's rare at this point in the year to see great actors having free reign with intelligent material. The only easy criticism is Allen's choice to have the summer-long journey guided by an omniscient narrator, presumably to compact the entire summer's events. Although frustrating at first, it ultimately finds a balance and lends itself to the film's tight pacing, thus it's a minor quibble. The many joys here come from Allen's adept pondering funneled through his marvelous cast. The humor is so light on its feet, and unlike his more recent efforts of Anything Else or Scoop, the dialogue here doesn't seem as forced into the mouths of its generation. It all feels current and still in the vein of the adult-themed comedies that gave Allen his greatest success in the seventies.

There's been some criticism directed toward the "male fantasy" aspect of the film, regarding the fact that three beautiful women swarm to a single man and question their very cores just to be with him. I think it's unfair, however, to divide the film between men and women, as each of the characters are finding themselves fixated on brief glimmers of love and finding their own discontent. Even the seductive force that is Juan Antonio can barely be flirtatious with Vicky or Cristina without a few longing references to his ex-lover Maria Elena. Instead of challenging his affections for Maria Elena by giving himself completely to Cristina, he invites Maria Elena into their relationship. It's clear that Allen and his characters are cynical towards the happily ever after, but it's the desire for those incendiary moments that keep them going.

Javier Bardem needs to do little beyond being Javier Bardem, so his power of temptations are top notch here. Rebecca Hall plays Vicky as the unsure voice of reason and takes in each moment of self-doubt and introspection. Her plight's sympathetic, if a bit calculated by her by-the-books bland fiancé. She's closest to the prescribed "Woody Allen role" and a great discovery. Scarlett Johansson continues to improve as an actress, creating in Cristina a sensual bit of possibility. Her character is defined by her lack of definition, so Johansson creates an open vessel -- a woman who's still searching. The contrast to these two is Penélope Cruz as Maria Elena. After much discussion of this crazed women, her introduced at the film's half-way point is exactly when the film ignites. Showing breathtaking skills like those in last year's Volver, Cruz is a life-force here. She catches every flashing glimpse of Maria Elena's vulnerability alongside each sharp dramatic gesture, continually stealing moments and the film's most sincere laughs. It's a complete delight to watch her as she continues to evolve into one of the finest actresses in films today. Even the great Patricia Clarkson is on the sidelines, so the performances could hardly be a letdown.

Vicky Cristina Barcelona ranks alongside Allen's finer entries, particularly of the last few years, because the insights ring true and it's so tinged with artistic inspiration. Here the outcome is secondary to the journey, or perhaps they're one and the same. Rarely in American cinema do we get characters in romantic comedies that are so soured by doubt and yet so willing to take the plunge.

Woodstock 2008

I've seen approximately 23 of Woody Allen's films, showing only the faintest disinterest in two of them (those being Small Time Crooks and his most recent outing, Cassandra's Dream). I've only witnessed about half of his output, and while I'm led to believe there are a few more disappointments awaiting me, I have to say the man's work is remarkably consistent, almost shockingly so. Considering just how prolific he is, Woody Allen's never really made anything less than "above average" caliber, and considering the artistic risks he so often takes, it's a wonder he isn't even more revered as a filmmaker. Notice in trailers and artwork for his latest, Vicky Cristina Barcelona, that his name barely merits a mention or any kind of prominent display. It's absurd treatment for one of the seminal voices in American cinema.

In honor of his impending new release, and in hopes of giving him his due respect, here is my list of the Top 5 Woody Allen Films. I recommend a marathon. Your very own Woodstock 2008. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll forget Small Time Crooks altogether.

1) Hannah and Her Sisters (1986)

"How the hell do I know why there were Nazis? I don't know how the can opener works!"

While some prefer Allen's comedies and some prefer his dramas, Hannah and Her Sisters serves as an absolute mastery and marriage of the two. The interweaving story of three sisters and their crossed love lives is perfect fodder for Allen's tackling of social and sexual mores. The large ensemble of characters are given remarkably dense arcs and still the film never halts the laughter. The narrative is remarkably flawless as he weaves through his favored themes of adultery and philosophical pondering, all with a refreshing mix of both the cynical and hopeful. Special mention must be given to an even more likable than usual Dianne Wiest and Woody Allen himself at his neurotic best.

2) Interiors (1978)
"You'll live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to."

Initially perceived as one of Allen's failures, it has since been reassessed by his fans as the masterful drama it is. Allen takes obvious influence from Ingmar Bergman and uses Gordon Willis' cinematography to stunning effect. It's perhaps the heaviest of Allen's films and also one of his best constructed. The story follows a distraught family stifled by their controlling, mentally-ill mother, who's completely unable to accept her surroundings and the recent separation from her husband. We get the chance to see Diane Keaton in an atypically dark role here and yet the showcase is the sublime Geraldine Page as the mother. Bergman would be especially proud of the bits where Page learns of her impending divorce during a visit to the cathedral. The emotions barely register on her face and then she all but shatters before our eyes. She swipes away the nearby candles and flees to the safety of her confined interiors. And I'll never forget the way she so casually tapes up her windows and turns on the gas. It's one of Allen's most beautiful, bleak and affecting works.

3) Another Woman (1988)

"For here there is no place that does not see you. You must change your life."

Like Interiors, Allen again acknowledges his influences. With Another Woman there's a bit of Bergman (especially due to Bergman cinematographer Sven Nykvist) and a bit of Brecht as we descend into the mind of one of Allen's most repressed characters. We're used to seeing Gena Rowlands play women on the edge in John Cassevete's films, but here she's playing someone who appears to have it all together. The drama begins when Marion Post rents an apartment to better focus on her writing, but she's quickly distracted upon overhearing a woman's voice drifting through the air ducts. The mysterious woman (played by Mia Farrow) is speaking to her analyst about living a life she hardly knows. Marion is typically the type to shrug off this kind of introspection and fruitless discussions of the past, but the woman's painful longings strike an unexpected chord. They set the course for a life-changing journey in which Marion struggles with the choices of her past and where her life is headed. The themes are extremely resonant, and while the story might seem dark and depressing on the surface, it ultimately becomes one Allen's most rich and rewarding works, with Rowlands a consummate wonder as always.

4) Husbands and Wives (1992)

"It's the Second Law of Thermodynamics: sooner or later everything turns to shit. That's my phrasing, not the Encyclopedia Britannica."

Mentioned mostly in parallels to Woody Allen's real life marital strife, Husbands and Wives is a key film in his career for some unexpected reasons. Perhaps only a person going through such personal turmoil could write such incisive words and find such brutal honesty in these characters' relationships. The innovative mock documentary style lends itself well to the probing dissection of marriage, as one couple's divorce causes a ripple effect amongst their friends. There's a heavy dose of Allen's humor but with a biting edge this time, delivered by an ensemble at the top of their game. Special mentions must go to Judy Davis as the embittered ex, Sally, who's responsible for one of the most awkward and hilarious bad dates in movie history, and Juliette Lewis as a smart college student who tempts and teaches Allen's frustrated husband.

5) The Purple Rose of Cairo (1985)

"I want what happened in the movie last week to happen this week. Otherwise what's life all about anyway?"

It's a film that all film lovers should see, and I can't imagine they'll come away untouched by its sweet sentiments. It's so easy to connect to this whimsical tale of a woman longing to escape her drab Depression-era life and her distant, brutish husband. Her escape comes by venturing into the movies, made physically possible when a beloved character literally steps off the screen just to meet her. It's the makings for a heartwarming romance and a brilliant meta exercise, in which the dilemma of that scenario happening in the real world is used to great comic effect. Allen finds a rare and deft balance, giving it real depth and still managing to make it feel light and breezy. It also contains one of Allen's most wonderfully poignant and melancholy endings, which brings the viewer back to reality and puts an end to their own cinematic escape.

For perspective, and just for kicks, here's my next five favorites... making this actually a Top Ten List... but who's really counting?... Besides me... obviously...

6) Manhattan Murder Mystery (1993)

"You gotta go back to your shrink. You know how General Motors will recall defective cars? Well, you gotta go in for a tune-up."

7) (tie) Annie Hall (1977)

AND Manhattan (1979)

"My analyst warned me, but you were so beautiful I got another analyst."

8) Stardust Memories (1980)

"To you, I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the loyal opposition."

9) Match Point (2005)

"It would be fitting if I were apprehended... and punished. At least there would be some small sign of justice - some small measure of hope for the possibility of meaning. "

10) Zelig (1983)

"The Ku Klux Klan, who saw Zelig as a Jew, that could turn himself into a Negro and an Indian, saw him as a triple threat."

Pretty... Pretty... Pretty Good

Some pairings were just meant to be...

If my salivation for Woody Allen's latest venture Vicky Cristina Barcelona wasn't enough, news has already arrived detailing his next project AND it's already in production. Woody's apparently shifting the tone and will be teaming with none other than Larry David! (Mind you that's not exactly news as the film is already in production.) The film is tentatively titled Whatever Works and is, as Woody describes it, a "blackish comedy."

I think that's brilliant "news," what with the next season of Curb Your Enthusiasm so up in the air. This offers up so many neuroses they'll have to get psychoanalysts to rip the ticket stubs! I can't wait. Additionally, current muse Scarlett Johansson is temporarily dropped for Evan Rachel Wood -- the younger model.

...And some pairings were not. Is this Mighty Aphrodite 2?

A few more details on the film here. And more Woody Allen anticipation to come!

A Midsummer Multiplex Dream

Sequels, superheroes and spinoffs rule the cinematic world. What fools we moviegoers be...

As I drift off to sleep during the latest uninspired summer spectacle, let me dream of psychedelic drug trips, bi-sexual Spanish encounters, and Jason Bateman.


If there were five films I dream of seeing this very second -- five films that await me in my moviegoing future and that I long to rescue me from this celluloid slump -- these five would be it:

Enter the Void

(Is there a better image and title to describe the summer movie experience?)

Gaspar Noe, the man behind the jaw-dropping and unforgettable films Irreversible and I Stand Alone is back, ready to scar cinephiles with another disorienting descent into the dark side. Noe explains his latest, Enter the Void, as an enticing blend of dreams and hallucination:

The visions described in the script are inspired partly by the accounts of people who have had near-death experiences, who describe a tunnel of light, seeing their lives flashing past them and ‘astral’ visions, and partly by similar hallucinatory experiences obtained by consuming DMT, the molecule which the brain sometimes secretes at the moment of death and which, in small doses, enables us to dream at night.

The film should sometimes scare the audience, make it cry and, as much as possible, hypnotise it. Twitch

I can't recall seeing a film since Irreversible that's had quite the same shattering effect. Its style, its shock, its complete willingness to lose its audience within minutes of the start time... With Noe taking his talents into the surreal, the realm of the mind, I can only imagine it will be an experience like none other. Will he actually try to top that nine minute rape scene or the nastiest of nasty face smashings?

Noe is the rarest breed of cult filmmaker in that he's able to push all taste barriers and still maintain a level of artistry and technical innovation. Mental trauma might rarely make for great "entertainment," but when the time comes for Noe to install electrodes in theater seats, I'll be front and center.

Broken Embraces
(Los abrazos rotos)

Pedro Almodovar's been on a vicious hot streak, making masterpiece after masterpiece for quite a number of years now. His latest, Broken Embraces, re-teams him with Penelope "she's amazing... when she's in Spanish" Cruz. Her turn in last year's Volver was sexy, subtle and astonishing, so it's all the more exciting to see what direction they'll take with this, their fourth collaboration. Almodovar regulars like Rossy de Palma and Chus Lampreave are also attached to smaller roles, so there's no reason to believe this delirious streak won't continue.

The basic premise remains vague. It's about... you guessed it, a broken embrace. But who needs more details than that? Almodovar says his inspiration for this project "comes from the darkness," and that it's his "most novel-like story to date." That's quite a drool-worthy statement, considering the man's work is always so richly textured and effortlessly evolving. If Pedro were here right now, I'd hug him and I'd never pull away.

Vicky Cristina Barcelona

Two Penelope Cruz movies on one list? I'm as surprised as you are, but then the girl has proven her chops. And technically she's still in Spanish speaking territory so we're in the clear.

I've been on a Woody Allen binge lately, falling in love again with some of his often forgotten classics like Another Woman, Husbands and Wives and Interiors. Simply put, they're AMAZING and the man can make forty-billion Small Time Crooks with those on his resume. Realistically, Woody's reputation doesn't deserve the beating its gotten in recent years. Even his weak films are decidedly better than most, and it was evident with Match Point that he's still got a heavenly gift, it's just waiting to shine on the right project.

Let's hope Vicky Cristina Barcelona is it. I love the idea of Woody Allen trying out new environments (this time Spain... obviously) and, true to his skill set, he seems to be dealing with moral conflicts and sexual mores at their insightful, probing best.

Cruz stars alongside boyfriend Javier Bardem, the amazing Patricia Clarkson, and current Allen muse Scarlett Johansson, in a story of lustful encounters on a Spanish summer holiday. We have the promise of gorgeous sunlit locales and steamy sexual deceit, some even of the bi-sexual variety, just for good measure. Sounds to me like he's on the right track.

I'm hoping the movie's title derived from Woody Allen being SO excited about his idea that those three words in tandem were all he could get out.

The Informers

Bret Easton Ellis and his ever-charming nihilism have served the makings of two sublime cult classics, American Psycho and The Rules of Attraction. The latest adaptation comes in the form of The Informers, based on a collection of randomly linked short stories that Ellis wrote in 1994. The book is a deliciously bleak and funny view of the LA wasteland, with characters as despicable and delightful as those we've come to expect from Ellis. The film version is well on track with a cast ironically culled from the same LA wasteland. Winona Ryder, Billy Bob Thornton, Kim Basinger, Mickey Rourke and Chris Isaak star, and it's also the final film for actor Brad Renfro, who died back in January of a heroine overdose.

Ellis co-wrote the script this time around (with Nicholas Jarecki, a newcomer), which should be interesting since this is his first film adaptation and it's of his own work. The previous film variations have had to take their own unique slant to even attempt capturing the dark tone of his work and they've succeeded remarkably well. Naturally one would assume his own personal touch would be a bonafide plus.

The stories contained here include rock stars, movie executives, child murderers and... vampires? It's a challenging bit of material to be sure, but with just enough cerebral satire to sour anyone who's feeling good about themselves or those around them. Guaranteed.

Arrested Development: The Movie

I'm a total cheat, this one's not even in production yet, but... the rumor mill has been heating up like a Bluth Company Cornballer! Given Michael Cera and Jason Bateman's surging careers, as well as the show's still surging reputation for unabashed brilliance, it's about time we pay another visit to the Bluth family.

If we must suffer movie spinoffs, at least make one that's justifiable. COME ON! How about one based on a now classic series whose life was cut tragically short when people preferred to see D-grade celebrities have a dance off. The silver lining was that Arrested Development never had the chance to decline past anything but perfection. The tragedy was that there wasn't even a hint of that decline. The Fox Network made a huge mistake...

I don't even care to imagine the plot because creator Mitch Hurwitz would come up with something infinitely better, but if he can reassemble the dynamite cast, I have no doubt this would be a comedy for the ages. Considering the building fan anticipation and the lingering studio restraint, the series' title gains even more significance.