Friday, September 9, 2011

Profiles in Greatness: Beverly R. Sutphin

John Waters' SERIAL MOM (1994)

"The only 'serial' I know anything about is Rice Krispies!"

  • Family
  • Manners and etiquette
  • Harassing phone calls

"Is this 4-2-1-5 Pussy Way?
Now let me check the zip code:
2-1-2-Fuck you?!"

  • Barry Manilow (seminal single: "Daybreak")
  • Cult classic Blood Feast
  • Bird watching

"Officers, life doesn't have to be ugly.
Look at the birds out there...
Listen to their call.
Whoo-ee! Whoo-ee! Whoo-ee!"

  • Dental hygiene
  • Socially conscious murder (see: wholesome homicide)
  • Recycling

"I have told her and told her.
It takes ninety to a hundred years
for a tin can to decompose...
And she STILL won't recycle."

  • Pussywillows
  • Collectibles
  • Charles Manson


  • Flies
  • Gnats
  • Dottie Hinkle

  • Be kind, always rewind (your VHS rentals of Ghost Dad and Annie)
  • "Premiere" Magazine

"I don't like to read about movies. They're SO violent."

  • The cable TV company ("You know how THEY are.")
  • Gum ("Misty, you know how I hate gum. All that chomping and chewing...")

  • "Shit!" ("Chip, you know how I hate the brown word.")
  • Not buckling up ("You know for somebody who doesn't wear his seat belt, Scotty sure is nosy.")
  • Fashion faux pas

This Labor Day week we remember Beverly Sutphin, suburban mother at large. May we also heed her advice that, NO, fashion HASN'T changed. Much like Suzanne Somers, fashion takes it step by step, day by day...


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